Buy a bag...go home in a box.
[MAIN] [STORY] [CAST & CHARACTERS] [PICTURES] [ETC.]

POPCORN MOVIE TRANSCRIPT
(taken from the closed captioning text)

( Moaning ) sarah! Sarah! Sarah! Man: Sarah... sarah... ( alarm clock ringing ) same dream. There's smoke. Someone takes her hand. She's running. The same man comes towards her. Radio: Jay prescott with some cool morning sounds and enjoy it while you can... ( phone ringing ) ...later today in L.A., It's going up to 95 in the valley. Hello. Hello? Hello? Man: Miss judas? Sorry, wrong number. Remember who the ninth circle of hell is reserved for? ( Dial tone ) hmph. ( Radio playing pop music ) morning. Morning. So what do you want for breakfast? I don't have time. I got an early class. Close-up: His eye gleams like volcanic lava. Sarah stands transfixed like a deer in a car's headlights. Sarah, why did you name your character "sarah"? I don't know. More dreams, huh? Yup. I'm not getting any sleep but it's going to make a great film. I wonder if orson welles dreamt citizen kane first. Maggie: We're in a huge cathedral-- gargoyles... man: Maggie! ...Mixed with religious icons. Mmm! Mark! I want you, maggie-- right now. I can'T. Come on, let's go back to my place. This is the age of safe sex, and sex with you is not safe. Give us a chance. I'm crazy about you but I won't let you shine me on forever. I'm not. I'm just concentrating on my script right now. Yeah, right-- the script. This is important to me. I can't let anything distract me. Okay, okay, I see. I just hope I'm still around when you decide to get distracted. Give me a break. Phew! It's cloudy and misty... joanie! Yeah! Hey, bud, it's not a speedway, you know? Sorry. We got good news, bad news, all kinds of news. Go ahead, tina. First, we've lost our editing space again. Oh, no. They stick us in the library then the biology lab, and now the music room. How come the film department always gets shafted? What do you have to do to be taken seriously here? You got to learn how to kick ass, man! We are a novelty item. Every new department has to make a splash to get on the map, and that's the good news because toby's come up with a great idea. Go ahead, tob. Yay, toby! Here's our new idea: We do an all-night horrorthon. Ugh! An all-night show-- they're big grossers. I got a better idea. Why don't we put on a play? We'll convert the old barn into a theater, huh? Tina: Please. Is there an inherited gene for obnoxiousness? Yes. The future writers and directors of the american cinema. It's the police academy syndrome. There's more social relevance in police academy five than in all of bergman's cinematic smorgasbords. "Bergman's fleshy ambiguities" as one critic said. He did say that. No, he didn'T. Your favorite film

is escape from

witch mountain. Hey, fellas! Why would people pay six bucks to see some old movie they wouldn't rent for 99? Because you can't see mosquito! At home in 3-D... what's it called? Project-o-vision. Nor can you watch the stench in authentic odor-o-scope. Aroma-rama. Joanie: "Nose-guards given at the theater."

Or the amazing

electrified man in... shock-o-scope. Wow! And that's why they'll pay ten bucks. These pictures were all released with a promotional gimmick. Which we'll recreate, only with improvements. On one hand, it's a total goof. On the other we'll scare the living shit out of them. So, how do you vote? Hmm... uh... there might be enough money left over to do your own experimental films. Bingo! I'm in! Maggie? We're voting. Yup. Welcome to the house of ushers! Wow! The old dreamland theater-- it was a live theater before they converted it to a cinema. Joanie:

Toby, it's great. Yeah, isn't it? Kind of sad we're going to be its swan song. They're tearing this place down in three weeks. Are you crazy? We can't get this festival ready in three weeks. Man: Yes, you can, because i am here to help you. Malcolm mnemosyne at your disposal, so to speak. Toby: Hi, dr. M. Hello, tony! I'm toby. Yes, yes, of course you are, me boy. My cargo is outside and it will require all of you to bring it in. I'll be waiting center stage, where I belong. Toby: Thanks a lot for coming, dr. M. Who the hell is this guy? Dr. M's movie memorabilia shop. He's got everything we need for the festival. Dr. M: Now what you see here are the priceless relics of a bygone era of showmanship. I refer not to myself but to the contents of these crates which I have stored and lovingly tended since my own youthful days as manager of a movie palace very much like the dreamland. We had theaters in those days not like these cine, omni, multi-watchamaplex things today with 29 screens the size of postage stamps. And we had fun. The ballyhoo, the giveaways, the bullshit. ( Laughter ) I could tell you stories... the point is, we put the butts in the seats where they belonged and they loved it! Now, what you guys got in your festival are turkeys and not fresh turkeys either. But here I am, the master chef of showmanship to teach you how to turn those withered turkeys into a memorable, movie-going feast. So, step right up, and we'll all get started.

Well, saturday night at 8:00

I know where I'm going to go

I'm going to pick my baby up

take her to the picture show

everybody in the neighborhood

is dressing up to be there too, ooh, ooh

and we're going to have a ball

just like we always do

saturday night at the movies

who cares what picture you see?

Oh, when hugging with your baby

in the last row of the balcony

there's technicolor and cinemascope

that's part of hollywood

and the popcorn from the candy stand

makes it all seem twice as good

there's always lots of pretty girls

with figures they don't try to hide

but they never can compare with the girl by my side

saturday night at the movies

who cares what picture you see?

Oh, when you're hugging with your baby

in the last row of the balcony

anot'er saturday night and everyt'ing is groovy

me and me baby, we goin' to de movie

it don't matter if de show is very scary

we'll 'ave a fine time in-a de balcony

we buy we popcorn with plenty butter

and not a single word any of we utter

we go inside and take a seat

and start to share our body heat

saturday night at the movies

who cares what picture you see?

Oh, when you're hugging with your baby

in the last row of the balcony. Stop it! Oh, god! Son of a gun! Leon, for the test, use the magnolia blossom. No, use the ambrosia. Yeah, something nice, okay?

Leon:

Okay. What do we got? We have fish smell, locker room, road-kill fart: Plain, fart: Stale, dead dog... dead dog! And locker room! Oh, boy! Whoa! Whoo! ( Coughing ) bud:

Oh, shit! Dead dog! Dead dog! Leon, you son of a bitch! Tina, go! I look like a fucking snow cone. Shape up, soldier!

Saturday night at the movies

who cares what picture you see?

Voila!

Oh, when you're hugging with your baby... okay, hit it! ( Cheering and clapping ) leon: I like it. Stop it. So what are we going to do with the rest of this stuff? Dr. M said to store everything back here. Hello. What do we have here? "Warning! Do not open." He didn't say anything about a film. Why does it have a warning sticker? Old movies were filmed on highly flammable stock. Sometimes they explode when exposed to air. Knowdge entails riskil il bo what is it? I don't know. It doesn't look very long. Want to run it and find out? Why not? Bud: Ah, must be a private eye flick. Tina: Yuck! Get the visine. Bud: We've got a great cinematic mind at work here. Leon: Yeah, eat your heart out, spielberg. I think this is funny. Leon: Nice nose. I am the possessor... the possessor... the possessor, the possessor... you said that. I am the possessed. The possessed... possessed... possessed! Leon: Oh, no, he's going to do it. I don't believe it. He's going to dolly up his nose. Bud: Yes, yes. Leon: Eww! Come... into... my... head. Leon: I'd rather not, thanks. Come... into... my... head. Come... into... my... head! ( Maggie moaning ) she's coming to. Are you okay, mag? How many fingers I got up? Move back and let the girl breathe. I'm okay. What was that movie? Whatever it is, it bites the big one. No, no, really, what was it? I need to know. If it's that scary, we should show it in the horrorthon. I'm not sure of all the facts but it's called possessor. It was made by lanyard gates. He was the head guru of this film cult in the '60s. They used to drop acid and make weird movies of each other staring into the camera stuff like that. You knew him? I bought into his rap until I actually saw one of his films. The audience laughed it off the stage.

Possessor was

his response. How do you mean? He didn't like being laughed at. He shot possessor, leaving out the last scene. When he showed the film he played the last scene live on stage. He murdered his family in front of the audience and set fire to the theater. A lot of people died. I thought the film burned but I guess a fragment survived. We should give it to the police. Not good for the horrorthon. It's a total bummer. Who wants to see a film where a guy really goes berserk and kills his entire family? Back to dr. M. Right. Really. ( Sighs ) mom? ( Gasps ) oh! You scared me. You all right? Have you ever heard of this guy named lanyard gates? No, I don't think so. Why? Because we found this film that he made--

possessor. Mom, I think that this is the man that I've been dreaming about. It's really weird. Maggie I want you to quit this festival. I'm going to get some tickets down at the agency and we'll go away together, just the two of us. What are you talking about? I can't just take off like that. We never tied ourselves down before and if these dreams are... mom I'm not going to run away, okay? I mean, I can't run away from something that's inside of my head. I know it sounds completely off the wall but there's something happening here that I've been looking for all of my life. It's almost like it's psychic or something. Does that make any sense? Yeah. What's wrong? Oh, just every once in a while I realize that you're all grown up. I miss that little girl-- that little girl who used to need me so much. I got to get to bed. Yeah. Good night. Good night, sweetie. ( Phone ringing ) hello? The ninth circle of hell is reserved for traitors. Who is this? I am the possessed... the possessed... the possessed! Oh, my god! Soon I will be the possessor. I want her. I want her! No! Well, then why don't we talk? I'm in dreamland. And bring your nasty, little gun in case I turn my back again. ( Dial tone ) oh! Menacing voice:

Coming soon-- justice

retribution and death.

The film they tried to stop,

but couldn'T.

15 years in the making. No. No, lanyard. Lanyard... good-bye, suzanne. ( Laughs ) ( film flapping ) ( moaning ) ( creaking ) ( engine revving ) ( growling ) ( screaming ) ( screams ) suzanne: Stop. Lanyard, you know I'll do it! Stop! ( Crying ) ( screaming ) ( screaming ) ( growling )

scary, scary movies on the silver screen

aliens, maniacs, tarantulas

and brainiacs and everything in between... why are you going? I've gone through and look at me! Look at me! ( Gagging ) here's your official kit. It contains your project-o-vision 3-d glasses your aroma-rama nose-guard... thank you. Thank you. Have a great night. You'll love this horrorthon. Ooh. Awesome head, man. Excuse me. ( Wretching ) pardon me. When does the show start? Check the shock clock. When it screams, the feature beams. Joanie: Sign the fright form, please. In case you die, we're not responsible. No! Don't sign it. Think of your mommies and daddies and toto! And home! It's time for his injection. Not the needle. I'll be good, nurse ratched. ( Screams ) ( crowd whistling ) two, please. Mark! Hi. Hi. Well, hi, maggie. Fancy meeting

there is a big part of the movie missing here...i will get it and post it soon

Lanyard: Well, bud you'll get a charge out of this. Watch the panel. The lights will go on in the following order: Red, blue, green. Or was that green, blue... oh, I forget, but the important light is that yellow one. When it turns on, bud, so do you. All right, big guy. Come to papa. ( Electrical crackling ) ( screaming ) ( screams ) hey, he's got richie! Let go of richie, man. Richie! ( Audience screaming ) ( maniacal laughing ) what happened to him? He fell off this fence and there was this doberman. It's no big deal. This is a job for nurse joanie. Bend over. He's coming this way. Kiss me, dick... kiss your what? And let me go. All done. Have you guys seen davis? No. Let's go talk to bud. Give me a hand. Watch the candy counter. I love it. Peggy: Hello, vernon. Haven't you heard, peggy? I'm high voltage these days. You've always been high voltage to me, vernon. ( Muffled cries ) pucker up, baby. Well, well. What do we have here? Burn the bitch! They're eating it up. I cannot believe the stunts worked. Now that we are alone... I'm sure. Marge, run, darling. Be happy, dick, and remember me. Marge! ( Blood-curdling scream ) what the hell's going on? This is not scheduled. ( Wild cheering ) wow! Leon, this is weird. Was all this supposed to happen? No, I don't think so. We've got to turn the lights back on. That's toby's department. There are 1,000 people inside there. They'll riot. Uh... the band! Where are they? The green room. What the hell was that? I don't know. Don't let go. You might fall down the... ( crashing ) shit! I'll get him. Mark! Talk to me. Are you okay? Mark: Fine. Just don't step on my... ( crunching ) ...hand!! I'm going to go talk to bud. And get back to the movie. Meanwhile, let's bring up the band! ( Playing reggae beat ) now hold tight, all crew for when chalice and lovindeer combine it's trouble! Shock out!

My heart is heavy with sadness

parson told me you're going away

to jump revival in a country church

on pocomania day... bud? ( Gasps ) bud? Sarah. Oh, my god! What? No kiss for daddy? Who are you? Oh, that hurts. There's no greater wound than an ungrateful child. I'm not sarah. I'm not your daughter. I'm not your child. Oh, yes. Think. An altar, a sword, mommie dearest the fire, a gunshot... and now it's time to join your mother. No!! Lanyard:

Sarah!

Sarah...

sarah...

sarah... ( gunshot )

sarah... ( screams ) hey! Hey! Hey! Maggie, what's the matter? My god! Gates just tried to kill me. He killed bud and maybe tina and davis too. Toby, he's my father. I remembered. I remember the whole thing. Wait, maggie. Shit! My, my, my. What could you two be doing all alone in the dark? Come on, let's get out of here.

...So run come, come and turn your roll

hot, we hot, me say cold, we not cold

come in-a this and nice up the scene

play "takka-takka" on your tambourine

beat the drum, 'cause spirit in-a me

me can't sit down 'cause spirit in-a me

so wheel and turn 'cause spirit in-a me

have to shock out 'cause spirit in-a me

one more thing

I want to let you know

there's a meeting here tonight... toby, it's not a screenplay that I've been writing. It's my life. My unconscious has been making me relive my past so that I would remember it. I'm sarah gates. I'm not maggie butler. Suzanne's not my mother. She's my aunt. My mother's name was gloria. My father killed her the night that he showed possessor. He tried to kill me, too, but suzanne stopped it. She shot him, and she saved me. Somehow we got away. She changed our names and our identities to protect me. From gates? His body was never found. Nobody could prove that he was dead. She never knew if he'd come back. Now he's here. Why, maggie? To finish the film... and to kill me. God, toby! My brain is just, like, reeling. Hey... hey. Hey, I'm here for you, maggie. All the way. Come on. Let's get the lights turned on. Maggie: We've got to call the police. Toby: Okay, but let's do this first, huh? Well, down the rabbit hole. The rabbit hole? And into wonderland. That's a little humor there. It's the only way to get to the circuit breakers. ( Screams ) toby! Are you all right? Toby? ( Screams ) toby! Toby, where are you? Toby? Mr. Davis! Mr. Davis? Toby? Tina? Tina, is that you? Tina!

Sarah...

die. ( Clunking ) ( moaning ) stop! Stop, please. Welcome home.

...On pocomania day. Leon: Okay, we got our lights back on. Let's get on with the show! Who are you? ( Toby's voice: ) I'm toby. Or, nearly toby. You'll have to forgive the... sloppy craftsmanship. Actually, it takes hours every morning to prepare the perfect toby for the world to see. In truth I've perfected the quick transition from face to face. Of course, I have to borrow their faces. ( Changes to davis' voice: ) You might say... I'm multidentical. Now, with a little nip here, and a little tuck there I become multisexual. Nothing new about that, huh? And as you've heard with the help of electronic voice harmonics ( tina's voice: ) I become tina, the class bimbo. ( Laughing ) I can look like anybody I want to. It's one of the few advantages of not having a face. Then you're not..? Your father? No. Lanyard gates is dead. Died in the fire 15 years ago. If you're toby, why are you..? Going to kill you? Is that it? Why do this? Oh. Good question. Same answer, actually. See... I was caught in that fire too. My mother was in lanyard's so-called film cult. We were sitting in the front row when your aunt suzanne shot lanyard and set fire to the theater. You, luckily, got out. We, unluckily did not. My mother died. I lost most of the flesh on my body. I'm sorry. Oh, are you? Well, that makes it all right then. Here, I'll just let you go. You're sorry?! Look at me! This is your work. You don't like it, huh? You don't have to look. Don't look! Don't look at me. I was a child, too, toby. You were a child-- good. I was a child. We were all children. Nobody was a child like me. Nobody. Shall I describe the years of surgery I went through? The skin grafts? The prosthetic pieces? I had to glue on my face all through school every day of my life so the other kids wouldn't scream when they saw me coming. Here, I'll show you how it works. Now, the first thing we do is we cover up these fried-egg eyes with contact lenses. Lovely. ( Evil chuckling ) toby... ( sighs ) now, the nose. We prepare a face to meet the faces that we meet. A lovely chin. Yeah. It's my scarecrow-in-oz face. Cute, huh? You're crazy. What, this just dawned on you? That's great. And I'm the one who's crazy. ( Desperate laughing ) can't say I've lost my sense of humor. Can you?! Toby, what are you going to do? Here's my plan. I've thought it out with geometric logic. I'm going to recreate that showing of possessor. Only this time, it's going exactly as planned and maybe that way, things will be different. Maybe then, my mother won't die and I won't be burned and everything will be okay. That makes perfect sense. Yeah, it does, doesn't it? Yuck! Whoo! P.U.! What is that? Hmm... I don't know. Could be swamp gas. It doesn't smell like swamp gas to me. Well, it's not me. I'm not so sure. Whatever it is, it's getting worse. Jerk. You're going to have to hire your own nurse before long. Joy: You son of a bitch. Oh, no. I want to go home-- now. Hi, joy. I'm sorry, but maggie had some problems and I had to help. Maggie? Are you obsessed with this bitch? God! I knew you didn't have any brains but I thought you had taste. Why don't you cool out? Why don't you just shut your little mouth you little slut! As far as maggie goes I saw her leave with that film nerd-- what's his name? Toby? Yeah, I caught them in the dark. They were going at it hot and heavy. They're on their way to his house. You're full of shit. Man: Hey, asshole! Oh, no. Cheryl: Uh-oh. You got a problem? I said, "you got a problem?" No. Do you? Kick his ass. He's been getting beat up all day. You want him you go through me. I don't hit chicks. Now back off! You don't hit chicks? I ain't never hit a chick. That's all I wanted to know. Mark: I could have done that. You bitch! My hair! Blonde bitch! Get your sorry ass out of here. You're messing up my hair! It's not yours anyway. I'll bust your butt, fat boy!

God... damn it! Eat shit! He's going for the side door. It's locked. She went to toby's? Toby and maggie? You believe that bitch? You guys know where toby lives? 48 crescent road, apartment 73 about five blocks away. She's the world's authority on toby d'amato. Use the side door. Right. My stench cue-- I'm late. Almost time. Lanyard gates began possessor at midnight and we will follow in his footsteps. Wait. I forgot the other member of the original cast. Mom? Sarah, mom. Mom, sarah. Maggie, forgive me. Toby: Hey, sure, why not? All she did was murder your father destroy his life's work and then lie to you. Say a couple of hail marys and forget the whole thing. He was giving you acid. I had to get you out. Liar, liar, face on fire! Toby, don't do this, please. Suzanne: Toby, lanyard gates was crazy. I'm rubber, you're glue. Everything you say bounces off me... toby, no! Sticks on you, sticks on you, sticks on you! Half an hour to midnight. I still have a little time to kill. Where the hell you been? Get the odor pellets. Which one goes first? Body odor. That's disgusting. No, it's not B.O. It's the odor of a dead body. Oh, much better. I want to get back... I got to take a leak. We've got a cue... we've got five minutes. ( Sighs ) ( humming ) ( zipper unzipping ) ( chuckling ) ( growling ) ( choking ) ( growling ) ( coughing ) hey! Hey! Let me out! This isn't funny. Oh, shit! No. Please, no! Took you long enough. I had some gas. Spare me the details. Anyway, what do you think? About what? Toby. Does he like me? Like you? What's wrong with your voice? You sound weird. I got a frog in my throat. Sounds like a crocodile. Anyway, I need to know. I'm walking around madly in love with this guy and he acts like I don't even exist. You're impartial. Is he shy? Or what? Look, I got my own problems. Just leave me alone. Men! Admit it-- you fucked up. Don't you..! I got problems of my own here! Don't you... don't you talk about love to me! I got to make a movie here! Come on, baby. ( Laughter ) wait, it's getting stronger. Oh, my nose is burning. I don't know what you're doing but I'm getting out. Good idea. Let's head for camp. Hey, my legs won't move. I can't see! Just a normal life filled with normal happiness-- mmm-- normal sadness, normal family stuff normal kids of my own. Do you know how amazing normal stuff seems when there's no chance you'll ever have it? And whose fault was that, huh? Who? Whose fault was that, nasty suzanne? Nasty suzanne and her nasty gun. "Bang! Bang!" Went nasty suzanne. "Bang! Bang!" Went her nasty gun. Well, not this time, miss pretty skin. Go ahead-- go ahead, try it, huh? ( Laughing ) no, huh? No. I am so glad i cast you in this part. ( Maniacal chuckling ) ( groaning ) ( glass breaking ) if we don't stop it, there's no telling what might happen. I fear you are right. Better get tokyo on the line. Who the hell are you? I'm toby's friend. Is he here? If he was, he'd be dead. Look at this place. You say you're a friend of his? I ought to kill you. Maybe that would make me feel better. What did he do? What the hell did he do? Jesus christ! What the hell didn't he do? Guy's a goddamned lunatic. Should have thrown his ass out six months ago. Yelling and screaming all night long at the top of his lungs. Never let anybody in the place, though i don't wonder why. Look at all this shit. Mark: Oh, my god! ...Some chemical smells. I had to break the goddamned door down to get in here because the tub overflowed and it flooded the apartment downstairs. You know what he's got in that tub? He's got things that look like human skulls and body parts. Probably some kind of jack the ripper or something. What are you doing? Just say yes. Toby! Anyway, that's what I got to say about him. Yeah, yeah, the guy can't paint, either. Isn't that a real piece of crap there? Hey, that's gloria gates. I did a picture with her. You a director? Listen, are you a director? I'm an actor. You want a picture and resume? Well, how about we do lunch? ( Humming ) he paints it on his face. We must be ever vigilant and never rest. Keep our eyes on the heavens or the stench will overcome us.

Let's all go to the lobby and have ourselves a treat. Into the shelter. This can only be avoided... ( booing and jeering ) I am the possessor. Who put this junk on? Where's toby? Do something. Do what? The projection booth. Yeah, it stinks, doesn't it? Oh, I hate this movie. Yeah, thumbs down on this movie. Oh, I hate this movie. I hate this movie. Get this movie off... hey, bitchin' makeup, dude! Yeah, yours is a bitch too. Get it off. Get out of this movie. Okay, this should stop it. It's not stopping. Cheryl, make it stop. What, do you want me to stick my hand in it? Toby: Sweet, dreamy sarah. You've stolen my heart. ( Squeaky voice: ) Oh, what have we here? ( Normal voice: ) I hope I got your size. And you thought "iron maiden" was a heavy metal band. I am so glad you have finally remembered because, you know, without memory there can be no retribution. Open up! Shit! <

This page was created on: November 19, 2002
Last updated on: November 19, 2002 @ 11:40 P.M. CT
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