Journal Entries- September 2002

she took this pic of RJ from american idol off her stuff...so, that's why he's not there anymore...

Okay, tell me. How on earth can Lisa think this GAY man is anywhere near attractive? Do women really like that I'm clearly a flaming homosexual look on guys?! It makes me wonder what she sees in me if this is atrractive to her! This guy has queer written all over him. Ugh. I'm gonna be sick, people...

I recorded the intro/credits to Monk. It's pretty funny, I think. You can download it here.

Anyone watch that show Sports Night when it was on ABC

or the repeats now that it airs on Comedy Central? I saw a

few episodes a few months ago, and I think it's brilliant.

The guy who is now in Six Feet Under on HBO and the

other guy who I think was in that movie Threesome (was

he?) are really good together. Great chemistry. I always

say great chemistry, huh? I can never get into the show,

because I haven't seen that many episodes, and I never

know what they're talking about half of the time. So, I was

happy to see that they are releasing the entire series (two

seasons) on DVD. When I get some money, I wanna get

this set.

I keep seeing commercials for that game Animal Crossing...it looks cool. I'd like to pick it up too. I like video games, whether they be on the playstation, dreamcast, or PC (I don't have X Box or Playstation 2 or anything), but I never have the money for games. I have NFL2K and NBA2K which are both really good for Dreamcast...but I haven't played them in a couple of months.

My left wrist is killing me lately for some reason. It makes it hard to type, because the way I type, my wrist is all bent funny...and I feel strain in the muscle. I broke my left wrist, as I mentioned in an earlier post in like 7th grade, so maybe that's why it's always messed up.

As you can see, I have become obsessed with adding a picture or two to every journal entry. Explains why I haven't been adding stuff to my uJournal, I guess. I need to get comments for this page. Lisa did it. I couldn't get it to show up on blogger, but I never tried it on a regular old fashioned page like this. Maybe I will later tonight. Who knows.

I'm really depressed lately. I feel useless. I wanna do something, but there's no one to do anything with, and nothing to do if I had someone to do something with. Feel bad for me, everyone. Sure.

Chris Isaak is my hero, so is Dom Jolly or whatever his name is...the guy from Trigger Happy TV. What IS his name? Dom something...

Oh, by the way...I also noticed the first season of Mad About You is being released on DVD as well. Amazon.com is the best website on earth...thanks to them for helping me find all this nifty stuff. I like that show. Cute couple. Pretty funny guy, that whacky Paul Reiser. If I had money, I'd buy that DVD set too. I want the three seasons of The Sopranos on DVD too. I want everything, huh? That Jamie Lynn Siegler or however you spell it..what a hottie. She said in an interview that if her career went down hill she would pose nude for Playboy or whatever magazine would have her. Here's to hoping here career goes bust! And soon...

Saw that show Hack tonight on CBS...brand new series. I didn't feel like sitting down and watching anything for an hour at first, but I'm glad I did. It was really good. The guy who plays lead character, Mike Olshanksy is awesome. Really great actor who I have seen a lot of, tho I can't name anything he's been in off bat. He is really moving as a former cop turned cab driver who uses his own sort of street justice in a way to keep being a cop. In the first episode, we learn that him and his partner took 8 grand from a $40, 000 loot they recovered. All cops do it, he says to a priest friend of his...they deserve it for their duty, protecting the city...he even took a bullet in the shoulder once. He got caught, his partner didn't...he's now driving a cab to make money. He picks up a guy who is crying, just got into town, looking for his runaway daughter. Olshanksy starts asking questions, always in cop mode even as a cab driver. The guy gives him some information, and in the end, Olshanksy helps the guy find his daughter. Really good show...lots of promise, I believe. Can't wait to see episode 2.

I like Robbery Homicide a lot as well. The look is kinda confusing. Sometimes it looks all gritty and sort of low budget, then it looks really nice out of nowhere. They did some weird camera angle stuff too, along with a few parts where there was basically no sound. Maybe for mood or something. I like it tho. It works in the end. Tom Sizemore is really good, and everyone else rounds ouf the cast pretty nicely. You feel like you're right in the action with this show, and it looks like it has a lot going for it. Good to see Mario Van Peebles again too in this episode.

Cool thing about this show, seems like it's becoming a trend...it will air on USA network as well. I guess the first episode airs sometime in October, and they play the last week's episodes, or the episode from two weeks ago on USA afer it airs on CBS. Good idea. Now I can tape episode 1. They do the same thing with Monk on ABC and USA. Law and Order too on USA. Hey, USA- get your own programming! :)

Why we do always have to tiptoe when it comes to minorities? It makes no sense to make this statement, no matter how many people call. If a white guy robs a bank, why don't white people call?

This normally quiet rural farm community of 25,000, northwest of Omaha is the hometown of comedian Johnny Carson.

He also tried to reassure the Hispanic community after receiving phone calls from people concerned about a backlash.

"I want to do every thing I can to assure them that they don't have to be concerned. That Nebraskans are very, very reasonable people," the governor said. "I think Nebraskans are anxious to hear the facts."

I just finished watching that show Monk. It's really good. I was looking forward to the premiere of it before, but I missed it, of course, so now I have no idea how many episodes have aired, and how many I have missed. I want to get them all on tape. I love the guy who plays Monk...I guess that's his name? I only saw it tonight, and missed the very first part. I forget if that's what they called him. Anyhow...he's a good actor, and really great for this part. I like that the lead character has obsessive compulsive disorder, that's original, and it's pretty neat, I think. I always wanted to write a movie or book or something with a main character that had social anxiety disorder. Maybe one day I will. That would be cool. The show has sort of a 1920's feel to it in my opinion. Don't ask me how I got that...but I did. It also sort of reminds me of Poirot which I love too.

I am taping episode 3 of Push, Nevada on ABC, missing taping CSI. Oh well. I saw episode 1 of Push, taped episode 2, but I haven't watched it yet. I will watch them soon enough. I want to get the clues down, figure it out on my own. Know that I'm smart! I also want to post the information I gather on my Push, Nevada page on the site here. Not that anyone who is a fan of the show comes to my site for information, but I will keep updating anyhow. It's fun enough.

I forgot to put the recyling out this morning. I have a bunch of plastic 2 and 3 liter bottles in the bin and a bunch of paper too. I will have to wait 2 weeks now. I wonder where I'm gonna find room for all this stuff in the next two weeks? That sucks, huh? I have frequently missed the days, and I have only been doing it for like 3 months or so...maybe less. I forget.

I noticed I never changed my imood today either. It's okay, I do feel nervous and have been feeling that way pretty much all day. Then again, when do I not feel nervous? Ha. I have no idea. I'm not whining tho. I'll live with it. I'm straight.

Well...I'm off to take a bath. I know you all wanted to know that. Why don't they make bathtubs for people who are 6'3" tall? I have to bend down in the shower too, because the shower head is so low...awful.

Is it okay that I'm nearly 24 and I watch cartoons all day? Usually Nickeloden or Nick Too (the west coast feed of Nick), or Nick Toons TV...my mom said I was a child and that it was abnormal, but I don't think so. I like Cartoon Network too- Courage the Cowardly Dog, Johnny Bravo, Grim and Evil, Ed Edd and Eddy, etc...Cartoons are great...they lift my spirits in a way..especially As Told By Ginger...It's sad, but I wanna be Hoodsey, best friend of Carl. We'd have a blast. Lisa probably thinks this is all dumb too :( Oh well. I hope not.

I keep seeing this commercial for Nick or Treat on Nickelodeon. They keep showing the contest to win a vault full of Hershey bars...and they keep showing Hershey candy with Spongebob, Jimmy Neutron, and others on the packages. I want to get one of the Spongebob ones. I have Toy Story sweet tarts, and cookies, and a chocolate bar from years ago...I collect stuff like that, and I like Spongebob now. I want the Spongebob Halloween DVD as well...now, if they would only put the As Told By Ginger episodes on DVD...and Courage...and so on...

I have posted numerous entries in the journal, but lately, I have been doing so at my ujournal. You can find the link above.

You guys like the code I got that tells when your last visit to the main page was, and how many times you have visited. Funny thing about that, I was at some site, and a popup came, it was for some porn site, and it had that code. I hit view source and found the site that made it and a lot of other ones. I might use some other scripts and stuff for my site...check out the site HERE. Pretty cool scripts there.

I also changed the cam stuff...well, I added a link to my teveo cam page. It's a cool program, and the video is awesome quality. It's free too! You can click that link if the other cam isn't on...most of the time neither cams are on, but if you get lucky...

I have been looking into college and stuff. Went to www.embark.com and filled out a profile and said let lenders contact me, then I started looking for schools themselves...that's the hardest part. I want to go into film, tv, writing...anyone of those three...probably more like tv and film, so I need to find a decent school with that stuff, one that's not in a huge city, and not in some state like Kansas or anything. I need to figure out how I'm going to pay for food and an apt and stuff like that too. I'll be 24 in December, so I won't be living on campus or anything...but how to pay for a place if you don't live in campus, no idea. I will figure it out soon enough tho.

I guess there's not much else to say right now...something will end up pissing me off later tonight, and I might end up writing more. I still haven't watched One Hour Photo yet...when are we gonna do that honey pie?

Defense attorneys are evil. The attorney for this sick woman who beat her kid up and was caught on tape is a fine example of how evil they can be. He is claiming this woman is a good mother, the child is not hurt. The mother did nothing wrong, he says. The woman was caught on tape PUNCHING her four year old child. Guess what, lady? You will never have custody of your child ever again...that's a fact. You fucked up, and you're going down. This attorney is shameless, and he should be taken out and beaten for lying for this lady. During his press conference, he says that the mother and daughter shouldn't be torn apart...the mother should be seen by a psychiatrist and checked out (if she didn't do anything wrong, why should she be checked out?!), and he said that she should fess up to what she did (I thought she didn't do anything?), and she didn't use good judgement (oh, so she DID do something wrong, or she didn't?)...this guy is a scumbag, as is this woman who will never ever have her children again, thank God.

Awww...look at someone posted about me on their site:
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Can um.. someone tell me this guy's problem... The Blue Site.. can we say hypocrite.. yay good job..
How nice of the little children to post a link to my site and call me such sweet names. It makes me feel all warm inside!
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How nice of the little children to post a link to my site and call me such sweet names. It makes me feel all warm inside! More on this here

Okay, I had to mention this...I went to Shannon's site (churchgirl.net) and she is going to TN and staying in a cabin (I guess with many other people, since it says it has room for 8 people), and check it out here...Tight, huh? I wouldn't mind living in a place like this. Maybe I don't need 3 bathrooms, but the same layout, views of the surrounding area, game room, everything else. That'd be nice. I actually looked into cabins for rent (renting, as in living there, like an apartment, but not an apartment) in Gatlinburg...but I didn't act on it. I think it's be cool.

I downloaded the movies one hour photo and about a boy a couple of hours ago. Lisa downloaded one hour photo too. I wonder if we'll really watch it together? It'll be like our first date. How sweet, huh? I never download movies anymore...usually get too many people on with crappy slow connections, and it takes 2 hours to get anything. I still can't get Halloween: Resurrection, because the fastest one would be like 4 hours, and I'm not gonna wait that long for the movie. I wanna see it in the theatre in a few weeks anyhow. 2 bucks...fo' sho' g'. Were all those apostrophes necessary...did I spell that right? Who ever writes that word out? No one. That's why it might be easy to screw that word up. Anyhow...my head hurts again. It's not a tumor! (in that scary arnold voice), atleast I hope not! That might suck, huh?

Hotmail is bugging me. I have to type in my password everytime, even tho I have it set to save it and automatically sign me on. It started doing that about a month ago...I guess? Hasn't stopped since.

I have been reading people's diaries/journals online lately. Never did that before, but now I have a number of sites I go to on a regular basis. Wanna know what they are? misslisa.com, irach.com, bigwhiteguy.com, churchgirl.net, and goateestyle.com. Just in case anyone wanted to visit them too. Then again, they're all on my front page as it is. Ryan never linked me back. How rude! Oh wait, Lisa is gonna get mad that I posted that, 'cause she'll be afraid he'll see it, and he'll think I'm a dork. Did you people see the pic I posted the other day? Try to call me a dork, bruttha! Yea!

You see the 3LW page I made? What whores. That one girl is 16! That should be illegal. I had Lisa read me the lyrics when I was burning a cd earlier, and how nasty! Sex, sex, and more sex...children being sold as sex objects, what a great idea. Jackasses.

I need to go to sleep. I'm tired. I have a messed up schedule. I don't even remember when I last woke up. It was like 12 am, no? I forget. Ask Lisa, she knows everything. I never went to get anything to drink, so I guess when I wake up, I'll have to drink strawberry milk. Yum, yum. I will probably lie down and watch As Told By Ginger. AGAIN. I love Carl and Hoodsey. I can't believe it took me so long, and Lisa's help to figure out he was called Hoodsey, because he is always wearing that purple outfit with a hood. I'm so slow...

My neck hurts. It's been hurting for a few days now...and it's making my head hurt too :( Feel bad for me people. I talked to JoRae for a short time last night...did my best to make fun of the Blue Knights and their awful show this year. I talked to Lisa too, and I mention that only because I want to mention her as well. Of course. I had to mention the JoRae thing, because she seriously bugs me, and I have to ask myself what I ever saw in her. I swear the girl is empty inside...no human emotions...well, none as far as I can see. Oh well. Anyhow...off of that. I slept weird yesterday. Unlike a normal day when I go to sleep in the morning and sleep till afternoon...I went to sleep at like 4 PM or close to that, and I didn't wake up till like 9:00 PM or later. Rachel is in town, so I told her she could crash here. She had to take care of some stuff in town then go back to Indianapolis. Sorry to all those who were watching my webcam and might have seen something you shouldn't have seen. I assure you I had no idea it took place at the time, and when it did, I was sound asleep on the floor in the other room! Thank you very much.

My dad gave me some career fest booklet the other day, it was in the Sunday newspaper. I guess he doesn't realize I'm not looking for a job yet. I'm waiting. I was looking thru it a bit ago before I threw it in the recyling, and it was pointless. More pointless, dead- end jobs. No thanks. School. I need to get financial aid information, because it worries me. I need to figure out if I can go to school and not have to work...atleast at first. No way I will be able to go to school with new people, in a new place, new everything, then get a job with new people, dealing with more new customers and what have you at the same time. I will need time to calm down! Time to adjust. It's a must. If not, there is no way I will be able to go. No way. So, I will start looking for information on that soon. I need to start the anxiety program too. Very soon. I need to do that instead of staying up all night and talking on the phone to Lisa. Sorry, honey. I so need to get well. We'll talk...of course, but I need to get started for real.

I ate too much Wendy's food today. Rach wanted food, so we went there...in the drive thru. It was almost 12 when we got there, and that's when they close. They didn't put any mayo on my chicken fillet (it is two L's Lisa! so hush)...so that sucked. I didn't get a picture of it, so it totally screw up the food archive. :) How lame of me to worry about the food archive, huh?

I was looking at irach.com and went to her hot topic wishlist, and noticed they have a big spongebob section. How cool is that, I'm thinking. I especially like the burger flipping spongebob doll. It's plush. I have one of the items on the site, got it from wal mart- a spongebob pillow, with his legs and arms all sticking out the side...nice, huh? I'm so cool.

I was looking at the shoes section, and noticed hosiery, so honestly, how can I not look? I love hose. I'm weird like that. Lisa said I was nuts, but I think these black and white "checkered" ones are sexy. Call me crazy. I found a few other pairs I like too, but I won't share them with you. Wow. Ya know, I see them again, and just that- wow. Those are just amazing...so simple, yet so beautiful, and I swear I'm no sick pervert or anything. Heck, I feel kinda funny writing a whole paragraph along with a pic about hosiery.

I was listening to Music Choice earlier (I could have sworn I wrote this before, but I don't see it anywhere on my site. Anyhow, Music Choice are the channels with only music, and the screen the cd cover art, and information, and stuff on the screen...with digital cable. I was listening to smooth jazz, by far my favorite channel in the music choice section, and I heard this song called Voices by Jeff Kashiwa. Great song. It lifted my mood temporarily. Music does that a lot. Upbeat jazz especially. Peppy sorta music. I so swear I posted this information once today?! Agh!

Jeff Kashiwa's CD 'Simple Truth' with the song "Voices"

I need to write an entry everyday. I just don't have too much going on, so it's hard to think of anything to write. Like now...

I need some scented candles. I was thinking how much a subtle scent can do for your mood.

I wonder if (i)Rach lives alone. I'm just wondering. I wonder if that church girl lives alone...she was making a shitload of cookies last night. Damn. Didn't she say 5 dozen? That's insane. Maybe not...who knows. Maybe they were sorta small. I wonder if Bri...wait. Nevermind. Don't wanna get in trouble with that one...I said Bri, so it made me think...Brianna is a really sexy name for some reason. Maybe I'm losing it. Peace my people...

September 13, 2002 (Friday) 10:45 A.M. CT.
Check out this page. I was updating my MSN profile, and I was looking at other profiles, and I noticed this girl was talking about her favorite place in Houston was some park, because it was quiet and you could see the Pennzoil Bldg. from it. She's an architect design major or something. Anyhow, I searched google, and found this site. Nice building. Very unique. I love skyscrapers. PENNZOIL PLACE

Okay, I think I'm going to be sick. I haven't been watching any of the NONSTOP commercial free coverage of dead people and carnage (how sensitive of all the caring networks!), but I did turn on ABC for a second a minute ago...and I saw the most disturbing commercial. Well...maybe, not the MOST disturbing, but it was sickening in my opinion. Did you know that NYPD Blue is using the events of September 11 (I hate when people always refer to it as 9-11!!!) as a way to promote the show. It's more than the city, it's more than the people, now more than ever...blah blah...something like that, the commercial says...you see Dennis Franz looking at the NYC skyline, nearly crying, and the song NY State of Mind playing in the background. Great...no commercials besides ones that use such events to promote a tv show! I think they should show commercials like usual...actually, I think they should get real and not try to get ratings by showing all day coverage of planes hitting buildings AGAIN...we have all seen the footage, we all know what happened...we don't need to listen to nearly 3, 000 names being read (did ANYONE on earth watch 3, 000 names being read? If you did I think you might have problems!), we don't need any of this bullshit. It's stupid...and it makes us all look really dumb.

Speaking of dumb...why is the Centers for Disease Control wasting their money with that ad campaign 'Verb?!' Does anyone have clue what the hell that commercial is about?! I guess it's about excercise, but for the longest time, I thought it was just a preview of the real commercials to come. Does anyone watch those commercials and think to themselves, 'I think I'm gonna go excercise?' No, I didn't think so...

Anyone see the commercial for that Axe Effect body deodorant spray with the buff guy who walks into the elevator with the nedy looking guy? The buff guy (who just happens to be walking around the bldg with his shirt half off for some reason)sprays the Axe Spray and leaves the elevator when it gets to his floor. A sexy woman gets on later, leaving the nerdy guy smelling like the Axe Spray. So, the chick looks at him all weird, presses the stop button, and when the doors open at the floor, his hair is messed up, and she is pulling her skirt back up. Then, a new girl steps into the elevator and gives him that crazy sexy look like she wants to jump him. First off...both girls are finnnneee. Secondly...and the main reason I wrote all of this. Is it just me or is the guy singing in the music during the commercial saying "cheese snack" or is it just me?

Okay...she's slutty, she's a horrible actress, and an even worse "singer" now, we find out she's insane too.
--Read this short story first-- Jennifer Lopez is clearly insane. First off...she has been married twice, divorced twice...the last marriage to her backup dancer Chris Judd lasted only ten months...even tho she did an interview with people less than a month before the divorce, talking about how his love had changed her life. How odd...it changed your life so much, you had to get away from it a few weeks later. On top of that...now, even tho she was just divorced, she is in a serious relationship with yet another man...who she hints at wanting to have kids with. How many times and how quickly can this crazy bitch be in love?! Is it just me or are people in Hollywood notorious for making the rest of us normal people look awful? Sad, sad, sad...

One more day till you know what. Oh joy. Like many others, I will not be watching tv at all. Isn't it funny how the networks are so out of touch with the public? The public wants it to be left in the past. Sure, we can remember...how can we not, seeing as how all the news channels have turned into 24 hours news on terror channels, with their ominous graphics and scary music? The networks should get a clue and learn that victims of the attacks, the family of vicitims, and the public in general do not want all day news coverage. Like one woman said today on CBS Up To the Minute News...bringining it up every ten seconds only hurts. It opens up the wounds, and it makes it that much harder to forget and heal. Why are the people all agreeing on this, but the networks are still running all day coverage? Most of the coverage will be nonstop without commercials. This is just wrong. It's insensitive, and these people are nuts to think they're helping. They aren't. As one woman said...it might have been the same woman on CBS- this will, in time, turn into a holiday...one where her daughter can go and get half off of a t shirt at a department store. When will we ever learn? Never...that's when...

Off of that, I saw something else that pissed me off this morning...a documentary called One Day In September, about the kidnapping of the 11 Israeli athletes at the 1972 Olympics in Munich, Germany. It pissed me off, because the German officials are total idiots, and in the end, need to take part of the blame for the botched rescue attempt. It also shows how insane Palestinans in general are, and how corrupt most governments are (the German government set up the hijacking that led to the freedom of the 3 terrorists who weren't killed- thankfully, Israeli forces killed two of them and many others who helped plan the kidnappings/killings.) One terrorist is alive today, and he said he is still proud of what he did...the pussy spent the entire interview in a hat without light on him. Funny- he was so brave back then, but he's a coward now...God has a place of evil men like that...it's called Hell...hope you guys enjoy it!

On to happy stuff...well...happier stuff, I guess. I thought I'd mention that launch.com has some good videos...I have been watching videos for a bit now, this morning. Starting off with Norah Jones, who is oh- so- beyond sexy, and the video for the song Fame by George Duke...as well as Bang Bang by David Sanborn. For some reason, it keeps stopping and rebuffering now. Maybe it has to do with me typing this entry? I doubt it, but you never can tell. Insight! Damn you!

I want to see One Hour Photo...it looks good. I have that on my list of movies to see...the list that I made months ago. But, I really want to see it now, after seeing the trailer when I went to see Insomina, which is also a really good movie. Pacino is great. I wanna see that movie Drumline too, I think...I have only seen what it's about (marching band) so that's my only reason of wanting to see it so far. Who knows. Speaking of which...I need to check the movies playing at the two dollar theatre. That's cheap, and the movies they show are fairly new. I really need to get info. on college....soon...