September 3, 2002 (Tuesday) 7:30 P.M. CT.

It's been a couple days since my last journal entry, so I guess I should write something. What the hell was the noise I just heard from the basement? Scared the bejesus outta me. Anyhow...Not much going on. I still don't have a job. I'm not even going to look. I have my cable modem paid up for the next 4 months...and I will just drive my mom's car after the insurance runs out in a half month...and since I live with the folks, I have no other bills. Just as long as I have stuff to drink, since all everyone else drinks is tea, and I can't stand that shit anymore. Either that or pepsi...what is the point of pepsi and coke? They're gross. Plain. Anyway, I am going to finally listen to the tapes from the attacking anxiety and depression series, and the videos and the book and all...maybe that'll help. Since there's no way I'm going to get help thru vocational rehabilitation. I really would like to go to school, but who knows. I'll try to work something out. I need to get information and find a school and all of that stuff first. But, I won't be working for some months...so that's cool. Well, it sucks, but it's cool...all at the same time. I would like money, but oh well. I have as much as I need right now. Is it gay that I'm happy that I will have Halloween this year without working? I had it like that last year too, so what am I all happy about? No idea. I love fall. My favorite season by far. I'd like to go somewhere, vacation of sorts, but I really don't see that happening. I do have $500 coming way my...probably in December. I want a TIVO. I so need to get one of those. And an XM Satellite radio. My wrist hurts from typing. How sad. I think I have arthritis. I broke my left wrist in Jr. High when I decided to ride my ten speed with the narrow wheels down dirt hills behind Wal Mart in Boonville. I was sitting in the Wal Mart parking lot leaning up against the cart return thing holding my wrist while the friend I was with (Jeremy) went and call my dad. Fun stuff. I had all kinds of accident in Jr. High and High School on my bike. I was riding to school in Jr. High one day and I ran over a tiny little ditch that came outta nowhere and it had some drainage pipe sticking out of it...so I landed on that and had to walk...umm, limp back home...atleast I tried to do that, but Jeremy (again) happened to drive by that way (Well, his mom drove, that is...always a bad idea to give 13 year olds a license)...and they drove me to the school and I called my mom from there. I was scared...I didn't wanna walk to school (which was right there when I hit the ditch) and look like a jackass, all cut up and bloody and shit...I was nervous. Our middle school...jr high, whatever you prefer to call it was set up where everyone stood outside and waited for the first bell, so I would have had to walk thru a crowd of hundreds...no thanks. I got stitches in my knee that day, and I broke them open in another bike wreck a week after that. One time, I was riding to school my sophmore year (how lame am I, riding my bike to school in high school- I never rode it to the school itself, I had another friend who lived near school so I rode it to his house and parked it in his garage..) anyhow, I was riding and right after I left my house, crossing the train tracks, I wrecked and tore my face open. I'm not scarred, atleast. I had this huge scab on my face for weeks...I went to school and it was marching band season, so I'm out there all scabbed up and scary looking...I thought I had suffered brain damage because I felt like I was in a dream for a few days...hell, maybe I did suffer damage! We were at a band contest and Amy Sitzman told me to put water on the scab and it would peel off...I did, and it did...that's the end of that. What's with all the gross stories you're asking? I have no idea...I'm gonna shut up now. If anyone even made it this far (which I doubt)...I'll spare you anymore torture...