BLUE SITE NEWS
NEWS STORIES FOLLOWED BY COMMENTS FROM JOSH
LAST UPDATED ON: December 14, 2003 @ 6:20 P.M. CT.

December 14, 2003

Saddam Hussein was captured near his hometown Tikrit. Here are a bunch of newspapers sites from across the country, declaring the capture.

Saddam's Capture- Newspapers

January 23, 2003

'DVD Jon' faces new court date

Prosecutors plan to appeal ruling...(click for entire story)

January 21, 2003

The news rundown:

Bobby Brown was supposed to be released from jail tomorrow, but was moved to a local hospital. Officials won't say what the problem is, just that he is in good condition. Brown is serving an 8 day jail term related to a drunk driving charge from 1996, and disobeying the judge in the case by leaving the state of Georgia to perform at the AMA's recently.

Former UN weapons inspector, Scott Ritter, who has taken a harsh stance against any possible war with Iraq has been charged in two different cases of soliciting sex from a minor. One girl was 14 and the other was 16. Ritter told the press it wasn't the same Scott Ritter, yet it turns out it really was him.

Simmons Calls for Slick Rick's Release
AP

A record mogul is urging Congress to free hip-hop pioneer Slick Rick from the INS jail here as he fights deportation.

The Immigration and Naturalization Service has held Slick Rick, born Ricky Walters, since June. The British-born rapper is facing deportation because of an attempted murder conviction 11 years ago.

Russell Simmons, who owns Def Jam Records, called on the Hip-Hop Summit Action Network this week to lobby for Walters' release while he fights deportation.

The hip-hop mogul has met with Congressional Black Caucus Chairman John Conyers, D-Mich., and has issued a 30,000-signature petition calling for Slick Rick to be returned to his family in New York.

JOSH'S COMMENTS: Is Russel Simmons insane? From all the news I have seen of him...he seems to be very racist. He seems to be on the same level as Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. The INS has a good reason to deport this guy, do they not? I mean...I heard a small report on MTV, and of course, in true MTV style, they demonized the INS and praised the rapper...(shocking, huh? MTV "news"- yea right...) but other than that small story, I haven't heard much else, so I don't know all the facts. But, I see here that this guy was convicted of attempted MURDER. Murder as in, he attempted to KILL another HUMAN BEING! So...where's the beef? Simmons makes himself look like a fool, supporting a convicted criminal...it really goes to hurt his credibility overall if you ask me. It's quite clear that Simmons and others who support this criminal don't care much for personal responsibility...they just want to use these scumbags to try to push their own ridiculous agenda thru...

Eminem "Back With Ex-Wife"
Press Association

Eminem has got back together with his ex-wife - even though he once sang about killing her, the rapper's grandmother said.

Betty Kresin said the singer's high school sweetheart Kim had moved back into his Detroit home.

"They're back together and I think Marshall [Eminem's real name] is very happy about it," she told the New York Post.

She said he loved Kim and their six-year-old daughter, Hailie Jade.

"Marshall is a terrific father and very family-oriented. I'm not surprised he'd want that stability.

"I want him to enjoy his life. Everybody deserves a piece of the pie."

The couple wed in 1999, but divorced a year later after a volatile marriage.

Eminem, 30, subsequently had a tattoo declaring "Kim: Rot in Hell" and rapped about her being "at the bottom of the lake".

Kim retaliated by suing him for emotional duress. She had a second child with another man five months ago.

JOSH'S COMMENTS: Hey Kim...Marshall. You two deserve each other. You're both screwed in the head. He has a tattoo that says Kim- Rot In hell!! Awww, surely he's a good family man. Is the grandmother insane too? He's family oriented and a good father? He sings about killing his wife while his daughter watches, he has a tattoo that tells his daughter's mother to rot in hell...he kills his daughter's mother in effigy on stage. HOW on earth is that being a family man and a good father? He should never be allowed to see his daughter again. You KNOW this girl is going to be totally screwed in the head when she gets older. Poor girl. As for Kim- she's nuts too...here's an idea, Kim- PUT YOUR VAGINA AWAY! You're now back with mr violence himself...plus before that, you just had another kid with another guy? You are both clearly INSANE!!

November 26, 2002
Britney Spears Sticks a Fork in Nyla
TODD PETERSON

JOSH'S COMMENTS: Don't you hate it when people who have no business opening a restaurant do just that? Ms. Spears is one example, a long list of actors and singers also are in the mix here. I can't stand how people do that...I'm a "celebrity," so of course, I will open up a business...food, people gotta eat! Yea...let's call it NYLA, and we'll serve this and that. Oh, no...I have nothing to do with the operation of the business, I just attach my name to it, and when things get rough and the business goes to hell, I distance myself from it, because I wouldn't want to hurt my star image! I don't want people to think of me when they think of that terrible place! Ugh! Get a life people...Brit has no business singing or acting, or being in the spotlight at all, let alone starting a restaurant. That bugs me.

November 26, 2002
'GMA' Pulls A Switch On Viewers, Bon Jovi
Tulsa World

Did "Good Morning America" producers pull a fast one on Bon Jovi?

Last week, hosts Diane Sawyer and Charles Gibson announced that the New Jersey rockers would perform when the show aired live from Miami Friday. Best of all, viewers would get to choose from a list of five songs the group would play.

All week long, votes poured into ABCnews.com for "Wanted Dead or Alive," "You Give Love a Bad Name," "I'll Be There for You," "It's My Life" and "Misunderstood," from the band's new album, "Bounce."

Voting ended Thursday night, with the plaintive ballad "I'll Be There for You" the clear winner.

But when Jon Bon Jovi took the stage, he was told the winner was the raucous "It's My Life" and that's what the guys played, as Sawyer and Gibson bopped away.

"The voting was very close, and I made a decision to go with 'It's My Life,' " "GMA" producer Shelley Ross said. "You're right that the ballad won out. It was a last-minute decision that I made to go with an upbeat song that is a fan-based favorite."

A spokesman for Jon Bon Jovi told us, "I think they should invite him back to play the real winner."

JOSH'S COMMENTS: Hey Shelley, guess what? I hate liars...well, most people on earth hate liars. When you have a vote and people take the time to go to the website and vote, and then you say, 'hell, who cares what song you peons voted for, I want him to play another song..' you lose a lot of respect. I, personally, would never come back on Good Morning America if I were a rockstar and you did that to me and my fans. It's the same as telling the fans to go screw themselves...the time they spent online to vote was meaningless. Total stupidity on your part...

11-21, local: Police find 17 sex toys in local woman's car during DUI traffic stop

By JOHN LYNCH

WHITE OAK — A Longview woman who sells sex toys has been charged with felony obscenity after White Oak police found some of her wares in her car during a traffic stop

The arrest report describes the 17 items as "obscene materials and obscene devices," but Police Chief Charlie Smith said the items were mostly lotions and objects defined in a dictionary as having the shape and often the appearance of the male genitalia, used in sexual stimulation.

How illegal is that? Prosecutors will have to decide when White Oak investigators forward their findings to the district attorney's office sometime in the next week, Smith said.

"We'll see what they do with it," Smith said.

Kathleen Elizabeth "Kathy" Grubbs, a distributor for the national company Slumber Parties Inc., calls the charge, which carries a maximum penalty of two years in jail, "kind of ridiculous."

State law appears a little less forgiving: It's illegal to "wholesale promote" obscene materials or devices. Texas statute says an obscene device is a simulated sexual organ or an item designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs. The law allows investigators to assume that anyone with six or more of the items is intending to promote them.

In April, Kilgore police raided the Adult Book Store/Video Store at 1907 Industrial Blvd., seizing 12 large trash bags full of devices police said were being sold illegally. The raid came after an undercover officer visited the shop twice before the raid, making at least one purchase. An 11-page inventory compiled by police estimated the materials were worth $19,082. The sexual devices on the 11-page inventory ranged in price from a "Climax Band" that sold for $5.95 to a "Wild and Crazy Tickler" for $11.95; a "Hyper Sonic G" for $69.95; a "Plush Playmate" for $89.95; and a "Cyber Sexploration Kit" for $44.95.

The store owner, Robert Duggan III, was never arrested, but he agreed to plead guilty to a misdemeanor count of obscene display, a charge equivalent to a traffic ticket, and agreed to pay a fine and let police destroy the items.

Grubbs, 47, said she has been selling the items for about two months as a distributor for Slumber Parties Inc., a national sex toy party business that operates out of Ohio and Louisiana.

Slumber Parties is where the Tupperware party meets Victoria's Secret, the company says on its Web site. The distributors host women-only parties in private homes to show off their merchandise. Grubbs stresses the parties are only for adults, meaning no one allowed under age 18, and men are definitely prohibited.

"Believe it or not, there's a lot of women who go to these parties," Grubbs said. "It's very popular."

Company officials did not return a call Wednesday, but Slumber Parties claims its network of distributors sold $15 million in "romance-enriching" products, including lotions, powders, lingerie and private bedroom accessories, with prices ranging from $2.50 to $139. Sales this year are expected to reach $20 million.

The seizure of the items occured during a traffic stop on Texas 42 on Old Highway 80 in White Oak at 10:27 p.m. Monday. Police stopped Grubbs' truck after seeing her driving erratically, an arrest report said. She failed or refused to perform field sobriety tests and was charged with driving while intoxicated, and a breath test showed she had blood-alcohol levels of 0.228 percent and 0.22 percent, the report said.

Police searching her truck after the arrest found the box of erotic items. The White Oak police chief said investigators are used to finding drugs and guns, but sex toys are the first in his 22 years of experience.

"There's no telling what you'll find on one of these stops," Smith said.

JOSH'S COMMENTS: How on earth can this be illegal? Laws are put into place to protect people! How is this harming ANYONE? We need to get some of these silly laws off the books. I think when it comes to what people do in their bedrooms, behind closed doors should stay out of court...I mean, sure, prostitution causes trouble, and no one wants half naked women walking around the street corner...but, when it comes to porn and sex toys and such (which includes adult stores, peep shows, strip clubs, etc), we should stop wasting time and money on this stuff. No one is getting hurt, people CLEARLY find it to be okay and are all for it themselves (well, most people atleast)...they are adults, able to make their own decisions. It's silly...we are so tough on "obscenity" which is such a subjective thing in the first place, yet we have no problems selling cigarettes to people, letting them go home and smoke in the house with their children, or better yet, while pregnant with children. That's okay! Sick kids are fine...but penis shaped plastic...NO WAY!! Let's stop being silly, people...

'BROOKE'N-HEARTED
NY Post (Nov. 25, 2002)

Devastated "Bachelor" runner-up Brooke Smith says she's still in love with Aaron Buerge - and still can't believe he didn't choose her to be his bride on the ABC reality show.

"I have a lot of unanswered questions that will be left unknown forever," a downcast Smith told reporters yesterday.

"I'm still in love with Aaron. He's still fresh in my mind and in my heart," she said.

"There's no bitterness - only hurt."

Buerge, 28, said on Wednesday night's "Bachelor" finale that Smith's age - she's 22 - was a major factor in his choosing Helene Eksterowicz, 27, to be his bride.

But Smith says that's a lot of hogwash - and the University of Alabama student isn't buying Buerge's explanation.

"I felt like the age thing was an easy out for him," she said defiantly. "It was easy for him to fall back on that. His ex-fiancée was the same age as me."

Smith said she sensed it wasn't her age, but Buerge's obvious attraction to Eksterowicz, that sealed her fate.

"I think he did have that initial connection with Helene," Smith said. "I know from watching the show now that he had his eye on Helene from the beginning."

Buerge and Eksterowicz, meanwhile, said they're not rushing into marriage - because they don't know each other well enough yet. And neither of them is willing to move to the other's hometown.

"This is the third time we've seen each other [outside the show] and we're in no rush to walk down the aisle," said Buerge.

At the end of Wednesday's "Bachelor" finale, Buerge proposed to Eksterowicz with a 2-carat engagement ring (which she accepted).

In reality, Buerge proposed to Eksterowicz on Sept. 6. Since then, the couple saw each other only twice to ensure their secret didn't slip out.

JOSH'S COMMENTS: Hey, Brooke...you're as nuts as the two of them! Get a life. You don't even know this guy, but now you've made a total fool of yourself in front of the entire country! You can never be taken seriously again...no matter what you do. Idiots ruining their lives for money...isn't it sweet?

This story is a few weeks old, but I forgot to post it before...

Missy Messes Up
World Entertainment News Network

Hip-hop heroine MISSY 'MISDEMEANOR' ELLIOTT disappointed the crowd at a New York tribute gig for tragic singer AALIYAH on Tuesday when she forgot the words to her own songs.

The much slimmed-down rapper joined singers MICHELLE BRANCH and HOWIE DAY at the IRVING PLAZA concert.

But when Elliott appeared on stage - wearing a custom-designed tracksuit with a picture of Aaliyah on the front - she suffered a shocking bout of amnesia.

After fluffing the lines to her first song WORK IT, from new album UNDER CONSTRUCTION, Missy apologized to the crowd explaining the material was new to her.

But she made the same mistake when called upon to perform ON IN A MILLION - a song she wrote for Aaliyah, who was killed in a plane crash in the Bahamas in August 2001.

According to CDNOW website Elliott shouted a few remembrances of her times with Aaliyah, before announcing, "That's our show, goodnight!"

A disappointed crowd begged Missy to sing a few of her hits before leaving, but after a half-hearted attempt at GET UR FREAK ON, she called it off saying she didn't know the words.

She then apologized again and threw an autographed T-shirt into the crowd - only to have the shirt thrown it back at her.

One angry audience member - who paid $40 for his ticket fumed, "It was a case of false advertising."

JOSH'S COMMENTS: Umm...what can I say about this? If you're too dumb to remember your own music...either that or too drunk or high (who knows what the case was)...then don't sing at all. I mean...I don't understand how anyone can listen to this stuff in the first place...it's terrible...not even music if you ask me...but whatever...

Dead Man Talking
NY Post

RALPH Cifaretto was doomed from the start.

That's the word from the actor who played the volatile mob captain who was choked and beaten to death by an enraged Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) Sunday night on "The Sopranos."

"Now I can tell you that I always knew I was going to be bumped off in two years," said the actor, Joe Pantoliano, in an interview yesterday at the offices of HBO on Sixth Avenue.

"That was the deal. [Series creator] David [Chase] told me when he hired me," says Pantoliano, a veteran of more than 70 movies who is sometimes known to friends and associates as Joe Pants.

"He called me up [and] basically gave me the outline - the beginning, the middle and the end.

"He didn't say how. He just said, and I quote, [Ralph is] going to be charming, he's going to be funny, he's going to be bad . . . and he's going to become a stone in Tony's shoe. They're going to go up against each other and he's going to lose out.' So I always knew."

Ralphie made his debut in the second episode of last season - the show's third - and remained for 20 episodes. Outspoken and violent, Ralph furiously beat a 20-year-old stripper to death in a notorious episode last season; ordered the murder of Jackie Aprile Jr., the son of his then-girlfriend, Rosalie; and narrowly avoided death earlier this season after he insulted the wife of New York underboss Johnny Sack.

Although he rubbed most of his fellow mobsters the wrong way, his murder was more like a crime of passion than a genuine rubout. Tony killed him after learning that Ralph had hired an arsonist to torch the stable where Tony's beloved racehorse was housed.

The brutal fight scene in Ralph's kitchen - from Tony's arrival to the beheading of Ralph's corpse in an upstairs bathtub - took three days to film. It was watched by 9.8 million people Sunday night on HBO, according to Nielsen - one of the three lowest-rated episodes of "The Sopranos" so far this season, the series' fourth.

"When David said I was out, I said to him, Let me go out with a bang,' " Pantoliano said. "And they gave me an episode that I think is one of the finest that this show has ever seen."

Pantoliano sat on the secret of Ralphie's fate for at least seven months, ever since the episode was filmed. Keeping the secret was easy. "You just say, No comment'," Pantoliano said.

While he enjoyed his time on "The Sopranos," Pantoliano says he's too busy promoting his new memoir "Who's Sorry Now? The Story of a Stand-up Guy" and making movies (he has at least two - "Daredevil" and "Bad Boys 2" - due out next year) to look backward.

He will miss Ralph, however. "Did I personally like him? I loved him!" said the actor, who laughingly offered an epitaph for Ralph's tombstone: "Here lies a no-good, dirty dog."

JOSH'S COMMENTS: Okay, am I the only one who liked Ralph? Joe Pantoliano is cool, so maybe that's the only reason I liked him...considering he beat his women, treated them like garbage, killed one girl last season or maybe two seasons ago for no reason (well, do they ever have a REASON to kill people?)...he was just plain bad, and unlike some of the other characters, he really didn't have any redeeming qualities whatsoever...still, I liked him for some reason...

UNPLUGGED: Access Resource Services and Psychic Readers Network, the two companies behind the Caribbean-inflected phone-in psychic Miss Cleo, have agreed to disconnect their service and pay $5 million to settle charges that it misled customers looking for a supposedly free glimpse into their futures, the Federal Trade Commission announced Thursday, reports Reuters. "I'm no psychic, but I can see this: If you make deceptive claims there will be an FTC action in your future," said Howard Beales, head of the agency's consumer-protection division.

JOSH'S COMMENTS: Thank ya Jesus! That lady with the fake accent gets on my nerves...then again, people are dumb enough to call her little phone line...

Surgeons' Horror at Jackson's Nose
Pop prince Michael Jackson's former plastic surgeon has reacted with horror at pictures of him in court this week showing his nose appearing to be held together by a sticking plaster. The surgically-altered star provoked gasps from onlookers at a Santa Monica, California court - where he is being sued for $21 million for allegedly pulling out of two millennium concerts - when he removed his face mask to reveal a swollen face and surgical tape covering a badly damaged nose. The extent of the damage to Jackson's face also sent the plastic surgery community into an uproar, prompting the singer's former surgeon to distance himself from Jackson's new appearance. A representative for Dr. Steven Hoefflin - who admits treating the star in the past - says, "Dr. Steven Hoefflin has not done any of Michael Jackson's nasal surgery since 1998, and had advised him against any further surgery. "We have no information or knowledge about anything that Michael has done recently." Leading US plastic surgeons have also reacted with horror at the result of Jackson's years of cosmetic alterations. New York based surgeon Dr. Gerald Imber confesses to being stunned by the stars appearance; "Clearly, he had some sort of nasal-tip disaster. What probably happened is that he had some sort of support put in there and the tissue broke down. Now, it looks like he has skin grafts or something to close it up. A collapsed nose is very unusual - I've never seen one, and I've done 15,000 rhinoplasties." But New York dermatologist Dr. Pat Wexler insists whoever carried out the work on Jackson should be blamed for his bizarre appearance. Wexler says, "Doctors have an obligation to do what's anatomically and esthetically correct. Occasionally, someone has to say no. It's not that hard. It's just two letters."

JOSH'S COMMENTS: I will say it again...this man has some MAJOR issues, and if you ask me, he should not be allowed to walk the streets. He is obviously dangerous...hide your kids!!

Fox gets into arranged-marriage business
State College Centre Daily Times

Wanted: SMs and SFs, 21 to 39, for arranged marriage. Must have good job, friends, nice family, unwavering trust in TV-viewing public.

Fox has begun its casting search for "Married by America," which aims to find the perfect match for men and women searching for Ms. or Mr. Right. The catch is this: The show's audience has the final say, and the couple won't meet until they're engaged.

Executive producer Ted Haimes ("Temptation Island") says the show will allow people to "marry the person of their dreams."

In addition to the criteria listed above, participants have to be childless and never married before. Relationship experts will choose several potential spouses for each person. Family members and friends will narrow the pool to two, with viewers making the final decision.

JOSH'S COMMENTS: This is sick. People in TV have no class anymore...they have no shame. This is totally digusting, and if you watch it, shame on you. Too many idiots on this planet if you ask me...

Michael Jackson Tells Court He's 'Visionary'
Reuters--Entertainer Michael Jackson spent a second day testifying on Thursday in a $21 million lawsuit over canceled millennium concerts, saying that he could shed little light on matters like contracts and finances because he was busy being "a visionary." Jackson, who showed up to court four hours late and at times appeared drowsy on the witness stand, said he left most business to others so that he could concentrate on music. "There's an overview (that I get) of what's going on financially, but I'm in the creative department," he said, speaking softly in a packed courtroom. "I'm a visionary."

JOSH'S COMMENTS: Hey Mikey, the little boy lover...you're a visionary? LOL. That's one of the funniest things I have ever heard in my life. You're too busy being a visionary...that is classic. Wow...such a visionary, Lisa and 3 other people on earth bought your last CD...that and the fact that ALL of your music is nothing new...tons of people have done it all before. Someone needs to look up the word "visionary" in the dictionary, huh?

Kylie knocks reality TV shows
Press Association Chart star Kylie Minogue has taken a swipe at reality TV shows for encouraging youngsters to seek fame rather than foster any real ambition.

She said youngsters were now simply hoping to become well-known rather than developing a talent to back it up.

Minogue herself became a child star in Australia before becoming a hit overseas in TV soap Neighbors.

She said she found the obsession with fame, "frightening" in an interview on BBC Radio 1's Jo Whiley Show.

Minogue said there had been a change in outlook where people are now seeking fame itself after being reared on Big Brother, Popstars and Pop Idol.

"Fame used to be a by-product. We can look at it and see a little bit more clearly what's happening, but for teenagers that's the kind of TV they've had for the last five years with Big Brother etc.

"It's like `what do you want to do when you grow up?, I want to be famous'. What for? It doesn't matter'."

She continued: "It's frightening. You should have your ambition to do something before that.

"It's all too easy to say they're not talented. Obviously they can perform, they can sing, and what the judges and the press always go on about is we're looking for the extra ingredient.

"And you might find it, you might not, with a TV special dedicated to it."

JOSH'S COMMENTS: Good thing that someone said this finally. I mean, I'm sure others have, but I haven't seen it reported anywhere. I am sick and tired of all these shows that create performers. What happened to people actually working for it? I mean, Madonna for example is very popular, but her voice is terrible and she's completely slutty...not to mention she's one of the worst actresses to ever be born. So, does it matter either way how they became famous? In the end tho, it's still ridiculous and annoying to see no talent hacks get big contracts for being on a series that is nothing more than a game show...

DIESEL WANTS TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY
World Entertainment News Network
November 12, 2002

Tinseltown beefcake VIN DIESEL is sick of making action movies - because he wants to be taken serious as an actor.

The XXX star believes Hollywood has pigeon-holed him in the action genre and wants to branch out into different film types, including adaptations of SHAKESPEARE.

One movie executive says, "He wants to be the next TOM HANKS."

Another film boss adds, "Maybe he can just go do (WILLIAM) SHAKESPEARE in one movie and get it out of his system, like KEANU (REEVES)."

However Diesel's thespian dreams will have to be put on hold for now. Vin has several action flicks in the pipeline, including A MAN APART, PITCH BLACK sequel THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK and XXX2.

Vin recently met up with NICOLE KIDMAN to discuss the prospect of a remake of GUYS AND DOLLS.

JOSH'S COMMENTS: Hollywood has pigeon holed you into the action genre? Hmmm...odd...I never knew Hollywood could FORCE you to take roles. Ever think that maybe you're not a very good actor, and the only reason you're popular at all is because a bunch of blind young girls think you're sexy? I say blind, seeing as how you're a bald guy with an awful face who can't act very well...so clearly they're blind or a little slow. Get over yourself bud! Geez.

All Stories below this point were added on November 8, 2002

Justices Seem Likely to Uphold '3-Strikes' Law
USA TODAY

Several Supreme Court justices appeared ready Tuesday to uphold California's ''three strikes'' law, which gives prison sentences of at least 25 years to repeat offenders, even when their crimes are no more serious than petty theft.

The two cases before the court focused on a man who was sentenced to 50 years for shoplifting videotapes and another who got 25 years for stealing golf clubs.

The vigorous two hours of arguments marked the first time the court had taken up one of the three-strikes laws that swept the nation during the 1990s as part of a national crackdown on crime. California's version was aimed at keeping violent criminals behind bars, but it has spawned controversy because of its use against hundreds of habitual, small-time thieves.

JOSH'S COMMENTS: Yet one more example of the totally screwed up legal system of the U.S. This is ridiculous. It IS cruel and unusual to put someone in prison for the rest of their lives for stealing videotapes! How can anyone on earth say that's a good idea? How does that help society or the criminal? It screws both of us! I saw somethign on CNN the other day that said California pays around 1 million dollars per prisoner each year (don't ask me WHAT on earth could cost a million bucks!)...that means that this law is not only putting petty criminals in prison forever...it is draining much needed money from the states and putting it into this nonsense. I'm all for tough sentences for criminals...but come on! This is just insane. It's scary to think that in the US in 2002, you can get 25 years in prison for stealing a pack of gum. Can anyone honestly say that makes sense?

British Docs Call For Public Smoking Ban
Warning that 1,000 people a year are dying in Britain from second-hand smoke, the British Medical Association is calling for a ban on smoking in all public places. Exposure to other people's smoke leads to life-threatening conditions, including lung cancer, heart disease, and asthma, the BMA said in a press release. It's calling for a new tax on tobacco company profits to fund public-awareness campaigns on the dangers of second-hand smoke. A recent poll found that although 86 percent of Britons favored smoking restrictions at the workplace, an estimated 3 million British workers were still being exposed to tobacco smoke on the job, the BMA says.

Great idea! This needs to be done, and it needs to be done everywhere. Smoking ANYWHERE needs to be outlawed- whether it be in public or private. Know why? NO ONE can get away from second hand smoke! It makes NO sense. I mean it IS illegal to open up a container of poisonous gas in the street...wait, no it's not...smoking IS poisonous gas. I wonder how many innocent kids with smoking mothers or fathers die every year from second hand smoke...or how many of them have lung problems or whatever.

Cryptic Sniper Letter Tied to Violent Rap Lyrics
Chicago Sun-Times

A letter left by the snipers behind a Virginia Ponderosa restaurant, the site of one of the non-fatal shootings, contained mysterious markings and what were described as Jamaican colloquialisms. One of the suspects in the sniper killings is from Jamaica.

Drawn on the page were five stars, which some investigators thought was a reference to a Jamaican band. But there does not appear to be any Jamaican band named Five Star. The letter also contained the phrase "word is bond." An Internet search links the phrase to a black militant rap group, Killarmy, a band discovered by Wu-Tang Clan, a favorite in Jamaica.

One of their songs, "Five Stars," speaks of "bullets penetrating. Deep like the assassination that almost killed Reagan." The song also mentions snipers. The phrase "word is bond" appears in the group's song "Wake Up."

Killarmy has come under fire from critics who have chastised the group's violent message. In many songs, they speak of a racial war and their support for "racial Armageddon." Band members have roles such as "Marksman Assassin of Killarmy" and "Street Specialist Trained in Urban Warfare."

From Josh: Hey dumbasses, if you're going to be psychotic and weird...learn what "assassination" means.

Raunchy roles for Catherine
Press Association

Michael Douglas is encouraging his wife Catherine Zeta Jones to take more raunchy roles, the actress reveals.

Douglas would even like to see her romping with another man in a lovemaking scene. Zeta Jones, who is pregnant with the couple's second child, will soon be seen in the steamy film version of hit stage musical Chicago.

But the 33-year-old Welsh actress told Elle magazine: "My husband keeps telling me `you've gotta do your red-hot sexy mama movie soon, baby'."

Douglas, whom she married two years ago in New York, is no stranger to raunchy roles having starred opposite Sharon Stone in saucy thriller Basic Instinct.

And Zeta Jones, originally from Swansea, joked: "I feel like I'm a nun in this relationship you know."

Although the actress performed a sexy role in Entrapment with Sir Sean Connery, Douglas said she had yet to have a passionate clinch on-screen.

He said: "I think she has an inherent sexuality, but she hasn't done a hot one-on-one lovemaking role."

Zeta Jones also revealed an ambition to sing on stage. She told Elle: "I'm a complete frustrated lounge act. I really want to do a show in Vegas - it's like my last bastion.

"But I don't know if the world's ready for it now. I have to plan it."

FROM JOSH: Anyone else think the very old Michael Douglas is a weirdo? Sounds like he never got past that sexual addiction he claimed to have.

Britney Cartoon
NY Post

World Entertainment News Network

Pop princess BRITNEY SPEARS getting ready for her new role - as an animated character in her very own cartoon.

The BOYS singer has told friends she will star in an action-packed children's cable TV show, starting next summer, on America's THE DISNEY CHANNEL.

A pal says, "Plans are in the early stages but Britney is really excited about it. Having your own cartoon show is the ultimate status symbol."

Is Disney insane? They want kids to see this whore on their tv as a cartoon? Disgusting. Goes to show you, companies will do anything for the money today...

EVE CONDEMNS MUSIC INDUSTRY
World Entertainment News Network

Rap star EVE is considering quiting music, because she hates the industry.

The LET ME BLOW YA MIND singer is already launching a new clothing label, FETISH, with the LOVE IS BLIND FOUNDATION.

And Eve, who has already starred in ICE CUBE's hit movie BARBERSHOP, says she may even choose to pursue an acting career full-time, just to escape music.

Eve, 22, says, "I just can't see me rapping until I'm 27. First of all, I hate the business. I hate the business of music. I love music, but I hate the business that's behind it - it's so political and it's so crazy. They treat artists wrong. And we slave."

The star blames the people who run the business for her attitude, adding, "It's like we work so hard and the record executives reap all the business.

"I really don't know, but I'm 23 so I may change my mind next year or I may change my mind in the next few years, but right now, at 23, I definitely still want to be involved in music if I'm writing or producing or something like that, but I can't see me running around and driving myself crazy at 27 years old. I just can't."

Eve...too much crack for ya? You're a millionaire. You have millions...for SINGING. You made tons of cash for doing something people do everyday for free in the shower. You work so hard? How do you call what you do work?! You are insane!! Quit your whining, and shut up!!

J.Lo Admits She's Engaged
Jennifer Lopez is set to shock America next week when she confirms she's engaged to Ben Affleck on TV. The actress/singer has been wearing a huge diamond ring on her engagement finger for the past month but the couple have been keen to play down reports of an engagement. But J.Lo will admit to broadcaster Diane Sawyer that the couple, who have only been officially dating since June, are ready to wed as part of a special on news show Primetime, which airs in America next week. According to New York Post gossip columnist Cindy Adams, Sawyer asks Lopez if the rumours are true, which prompts J.Lo to say, "Yes, we are engaged." Lopez's divorce from her second husband Cris Judd will be finalized in January. If the romance does go all the way, this will be Affleck's first marriage

FROM JOSH:
Hey Jennifer. YOU ARE NUTS! You're married once...then you're dating everybody under the sun...then you're with that moron rapper puff daddy...then, next thing you know you get married to chris...then, you divorce him right away and are suddenly in love and engaged! You are clearly a mental case who needs to be kept off the streets! Who knows how many people you'll try to marry and divorce. I read another article the other day where she said that she has never had a real marriage...oh, so you had two fake ones? Get a clue!

Ryder's Defense 'Written in Hollywood', Jury Told
Reuters

Winona Ryder's shoplifting case went to the jury on Monday without the actress taking the stand after they heard a complex conspiracy argument by her lawyer that prosecutors said "could only have been written in Hollywood."

Describing the entire defense case as based on "misdirection, accusation, insinuation and speculation," prosecutor Ann Rundle asked the jury to look at the evidence against Ryder as presented in the six day trial.

"We have offered you facts. They have presented hype. We have presented the truth. They have presented a story that could only have been written in Hollywood," Rundle said

Rundle suggested in closing arguments that Ryder, 31, cut security tags and walked out of the posh Saks Fifth Avenue store in Beverly Hills last December, loaded with expensive clothes and handbags, simply for the thrill of it.

But Ryder's attorney, Mark Geragos, portrayed the Oscar-nominated actress as the victim of a frame-up by security staff at Saks, accusing them of fabricating evidence and of giving testimony with "a multitude of inconsistencies."

Josh's Comments: Ryder is an idiot. She deserved to have the book thrown at her. Sometimes examples need to be made, and she was the perfect candidate. She was found guilty of theft and vandalism as you all probably know by now...she was found not guilty of burglary, because the jury didn't totally believe she went into the store with the intent to steal. Well, of course she did...but I won't complain about that. It's about doubt, which is fine. Ryder has proven that she's a total halfwit with all of this...not only is she a annoying and terrible actress- she is also stupid enough to wear free winona t shirts on the cover of magazines, (good idea! mock the judicial system, smart one! way to win points with the court) and to make fun of the whole trial on saturday night live. Winona...what WERE you thinking? You clearly weren't thinking at all, huh?

Report: WorldCom Fraud May Top $7.68B
AP

The amount of accounting fraud at WorldCom Inc. is likely to exceed the $7 billion previously disclosed to investors, according to a broad report from a special company monitor who also found more than $1 billion in loans to the firm's former chief executive.

Special examiner Richard Thornburgh, a former U.S. attorney general, released a report Monday sternly criticizing the telecommunication giant's board of directors and top company executives.

Thornburgh said WorldCom took "extraordinary and illegal steps" to paint a rosy picture of its deteriorating finances.

WorldCom Inc.'s board never should have allowed former chief executive Bernard Ebbers to leverage his company stock for more than $1 billion in personal and business loans, a bankruptcy court-appointed monitor says. The extent of the fraud will likely exceed the $7.68 billion previously disclosed, the report says.

JOSH'S COMMENTS: Number one problem with the U.S. economy. Corporations like this! They are draining tons of money from the economy, bankrupting thousands of people and smaller businesses, and they've made sure that no one has any faith in ANY corporation or in the economy whatsoever. These scumbags who stole all this money and screwed up so many lives...send them to Alaskan work prisons for the entirety of their sentences.

Sharon Osbourne Regrets Doing MTV Show
Reuters

Sharon Osbourne, matriarch of MTV's first family, "The Osbournes," says the constant presence of cameras in her home has become intrusive as she battles cancer, and she wants to call it quits after 10 more episodes.

In an interview for a special edition of the ABC News program "20/20," to air on Wednesday, the wife and manager of British rocker Ozzy Osbourne also said she regrets putting her family on television in the first place.

"This is definitely the last year," Sharon Osbourne, 50, told Barbara Walters in excerpts of the interview released by Walt Disney Co.'s ABC network on Monday. "We can't do it anymore. ... Another 10 shows and I'm out."

JOSH'S COMMENTS: Sharon and the rest of the mentally unstable Osbourne clan...what to say about them? They're crazy, they're an embarassment to all people. I just heard a radio news story yesterday where they said Sharon told Camilla Parker Bowles ( or whatever her name is!) that she had nice tits and she even felt her up...she also pinched Prince Charles' butt. Classy! Now I see why your kids are so screwed up.

Aguilera Draws Power From Piercings
AP--Christina Aguilera wasn't allowed to get her ears pierced when she was a little girl. Now, she has 11 piercings - in her ears, her nose, her lower lip, and some very private places. The 21-year-old singer says she started getting piercings when she was on tour after her first album. Now, they're part of a whole new look that's far from her earlier squeaky-clean, Mickey Mouse Club image. "If I was having a bad day, or if something was really getting me down - boy troubles, whatever - I wanted to go out and get a new piercing," Aguilera tells Rolling Stone magazine for its Nov. 14 issue. JOSH'S COMMENTS: Ummm...Christina. YOU ARE A FREAK.

World Trade Center Images Appear In Ads
Democrats Call GOP Ads "A New Low"

Nov 3, 2002 3:26 pm US/Pacific
(AP) (WASHINGTON)Infuriated Democrats on Sunday called for Ohio Republicans to pull a television ad using images of the destroyed World Trade Center and New York City's Ground Zero area in an ad against Ohio Democratic congressional candidate Tim Ryan, calling it "disrespectful" and "a new low."

The political ad is believed to be the first in the country to use images of the destroyed towers, where 2,795 people died after the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, in a negative political ad, Ryan claimed.

It was not clear when the ad started running, but two of the three television stations in Youngstown said they had aired it.

The issue ad, paid for by the Ohio Republican Party, starts out with a satellite shot of the Ground Zero area with the familiar plume of smoke rising in the air. A female voice narrates "Americans are targets across the world: shootings, bombing, murders."

The ad then dissolves into a ground level shot of the destroyed towers, as the voice continues: "America must fight back with the strongest military possible yet what does Tim Ryan say?"

The rest of the television spot complains about Ryan's positions with an image of Ryan and a changing placard. It wraps up with "Tim Ryan is dead wrong on homeland security. Call Tim Ryan. Tell him it's about time he stood up for America."

Ohio Republican Party spokesman Jason Mauk said he could not make a copy of the 30-second spot available to the media Sunday but did not deny responsibility for its production. He did not provide any more information about the advertisement.

Democrats immediately attacked the spot.

"This is a new low," Ryan said. "Apparently, my opponent has no shame and will do anything to get elected, including exploiting the saddest day in our nation's history, its victims and their families."

"To use such a horrible tragedy in a political way is disrespectful to all those affected by the terrible events of September 11th and has no place in politics," added Rep. Nita M. Lowey, D-N.Y., head of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee.

"I call on the Republicans to stop airing this ad immediately," Lowey said. "It is unconscionable that the Republicans feel the need to stoop to this level to try to win an election they weren't going to win in the first place. They should stop airing this ad right away and they owe the voters and Tim Ryan an apology."

Ryan and GOP candidate Ann Womer Benjamin are battling former Rep. James A. Traficant Jr., for the seat in Ohio's 17th Congressional District. Traficant is running his election campaign from prison after being ousted from Congress and being sent to prison for bribery and racketeering.

Traficant, a former Democrat, is running as an independent.

The ad is not the first to use the attacks of Sept. 11 for political purposes.

New York Republican Marilyn O'Grady -- challenging incumbent Democrat Rep. Carolyn McCarthy -- has shown an ad featuring Peter Gadiel, whose son James was an assistant trader for Cantor Fitzgerald who died on the 103rd floor of the World Trade Center last year.

McCarthy also denounced the use of September 11th.

"I denounce her for using this family's tragedy and the loss of their son for her sordid political purposes," McCarthy said.

The ad, which began airing Tuesday, is believed to be the first involving the relative of a victim of the terrorist attacks.

JOSH'S COMMENTS: This is just sick. I saw tons of political ads, and guess what? I didn't see one positive one. They were all aimed at the other candidate, saying he or she did this bad thing or that bad thing...this is why so many people don't vote. Politicians are not only some of the most crooked people on the planet...they're also some of the scummiest, childish people around. Grade school kids act more mature than this!

This is what 99% of all political ads come down to:
"Bob so and so is a poopyhead! Don't vote for him, vote for me...I'm not a poopyhead."

H'wood's fright-geist
Studios add new twists to their scare tactics
 
By CATHY DUNKLEY

The screen scene has been a scream lately.

In three of the past four weeks, box office was dominated by fright films: Two-time B.O. champ "Red Dragon," followed by "The Ring." (The fourth weekend's winner, "Jackass," provided its own, very different brand of horrors.)

Scary films give audiences an outlet for their worries, and the pending war in Iraq, the U.S. economy and a rash of recent mayhem -- e.g., the sniper attacks in the D.C. area -- may have fueled auds' need to shriek.

Because filmgoers have proved their appetite for such fare, Hollywood studios are anxious to feed them.

Since the silent era, scary pics have been a staple of the film biz. But studios' slates indicate a proliferation in the genre, with three new trends: English-lingo versions of Japanese horror pics ("The Ring," etc.), remakes of American faves ("The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," "Willard") and a renewed boom in werewolf films.

Horror films are often cheap to make, they are not usually star-driven, don't need a lot of expensive special effects and can be made in a tight locale.

In other words, a little fog, an offscreen howl and a menacing music score can build tension at a pretty low cost.

"Horror movies are a great mirror to hold up to society to see what people are afraid of, what their fears are," says New Line Cinema's production prexy Toby Emmerich. "Death is always big, it sells."

With marketing execs proving increasingly influential at the studios, it was inevitable that they'd throw their weight behind a genre that lends itself to marketing -- and marketing gimmicks.

Fright has always been a box office winner (see story, page 90). The genre certainly boomed in the 1980s, and it seems ready for another resurgence. Next year, New Line Cinema alone will release "Freddy vs. Jason," "Final Destination 2," "Highwaymen" and remakes of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "Willard."

Dimension this year is releasing "They" Nov. 27. Universal is in pre-production of "Van Helsing"; Columbia has "Darkness Falls"; Warner Bros., "The Exorcist: the Beginning" and "Dreamcatcher," MGM, "Jeepers Creepers 2" -- that's to name just a few.

Joel Silver's WB-based Dark Castle label, which released "Ghost Ship," will also have its annual Halloween release in 2003.

Some of these deal with classic scary situations. But there are some new developments in the genre.

DreamWorks' "The Ring" -- which cost $45 million-$55 million and earned $42 million in only 12 days domestically -- is the first of several English-language versions of Japanese scare fests.

Bob Weinstein, whose Dimension Films reinvented slasher pics with the successful "Scream" franchise, plans to similarly rethink werewolf films.

"People are afraid of the unknown. Of being in jeopardy. Of when there's no safety net. That's the roller-coaster aspect. It's scary but that loss of control and feeling out of control is almost an aphrodisiac."

There are only a few no-nos in the horror genre. The first rule: Don't cover the same ground often enough to kill a franchise.

The second rule: Don't get an NC-17. That's a factor, because the core audience for fright films is young people on dates. The old truism is that huddling together in the dark will lead to even more intimate huddling later. Plus, if they like a film, they give it repeat viewings, which adds to the success.

After a slew of cheapie ice-pick-through-the-eyeball slasher films, the current wave of pics indicates a return to the more intellectual, sophisticated, spiritually themed horror movie.

Emmerich admits NL is looking for "more sophisticated story-driven projects because it's harder and harder to attract an audience with the penetration of VHS, DVD, VOD and cable."

This is throwback to one of the most effective horror pics of all time, "Rosemary's Baby" (see story, page 90).

Like that 1968 film, "The Ring" lets the audience's imagination create the true horror, says exec producers Roy Lee and Neal Edelstein.

The pic also adds a twist to a favorite horror theme: the evils of modern technology and the notion that images can hurt you. In "Ring," a videocassette recorder is the disseminator of evil.

"It has a great central idea: If you watch this tape, you will die in seven days. But the very thing you're told not to do you want to do. It's one of the basic premises of horror movies," says Mark Sourian, the creative exec who brought the pic into DreamWorks.

DreamWorks already is talking a sequel to "Ring," which also indicates another new trend reinvigorating the scare genre: a wave of Asian horror-movie remakes due to hit U.S. screens.

There are at least two more high-profile Japanese adaptations in the works.

Paramount-based C/W Prods. recently optioned remake rights to the Asian pic "The Eye" ("The Eye 2" is already in production in Asia). That pic centers on a person who sees what others do not see after receiving a corneal transplant.

And Bill Mechanic's Disney-based Pandemonium shingle has optioned rights to "Dark Water," described as "The Shining" set in an apartment building.

Another new wave is the return of the werewolf.

Dimension Films is reteaming with "Scream" scribe Kevin Williamson and its helmer, Wes Craven, on "Cursed," which will go into production in January and will be released Aug. 8.

Dimension is hoping pic, a modern, hip twist on the classic werewolf tale of being bitten and transformed will reinvent that particular subgenre.

"It will be scary but fun, two elements that are very much Kevin's mixture which have proven very successful in the past," Weinstein says.

Jonathan Glazer will helm Angelina Jolie in WB's "Bitten," an about a female werewolf.

In addition to the high-end theatrical horror pics, the horror genre has a booming direct-to-video business bolstered by strong overseas sales.

Kismet Entertainment Group's "Dog Soldiers" recently bowed in the U.K. to the largest theatrical opening for a British horror film.

Kismet EG chairman-CEO David Allen acquired 27 titles including 13 movies from the master of the macarbre, Italian director Mario Bava, and plans to license and remake several titles per year.

"Horror is a good business," Allen says. "There is always a demand for these films, and horror fans are generally the most loyal and diehard fans of all genres. What sells worldwide is horror because what scares people in one country scares them in another."
 
Date in print: Sun., Nov. 3, 2002,

JOSH'S COMMENTS: I wanna see some scary movies!

`CSI' Creator Says the Next Spinoff Won't Come Soon
Chicago Tribune

When CBS announced it was putting "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" spinoff series "CSI: Miami" on its fall schedule, the network was hoping to create a franchise not unlike NBC's popular "Law & Order" umbrella of crime dramas.

But if CBS is looking for "CSI: Boise" for next season, it should talk to creator Anthony Zuiker first; he has other ideas.

"I think that a third one would probably be in the future," says Zuiker, 34, "but I would think it should (appear) at least (in) Season 6" of the original "CSI," which made its debut in 2000. "The lesson to be learned from (ABC's `Who Wants to Be a) Millionaire' was that you can't oversaturate the market."

JOSH'S COMMENTS: What they don't understand is this- Law and Order is really good...CSI is not. CSI is like the same exact thing every week. Then they came out with CSI Miami RIGHT AWAY, and tho it's getting good ratings, the show itself is terrible from what I have seen...the thing L&O has going for it is good characters in all the different versions...CSI does not. CSI has the good characters, but who on earth watches CSI Miami for any of the boring characters there? I think that the first spinoff was a terrible idea...especially so soon, a third one is just a ridiculous idea.

Posted: Sun., Jun. 2, 2002, 6:00am PT
 
Nick's toon hits its target
'SpongeBob' mops up ratings with adults as well as kids
 
By JOHN DEMPSEY

Forget about "The Osbournes." MTV has run out of original episodes celebrating America's wackiest family for at least the next four months.

Instead, start focusing on the cable show that's jumping off the screen and laying claim to the title of cultural event: a gentle, oddball animated half-hour from Nickelodeon called "SpongeBob SquarePants."

What started three years ago as a sweetly enjoyable Saturday-morning cartoon for kids has turned into a minor addiction for viewers between the ages of 18 and 49, almost a third of the show's total primetime audience.

"SpongeBob" "has become the No. 1 series in kids television," says Herb Scannell, president of Nickelodeon.

"And adults are watching it because many of them are getting fed up with the vulgarization of comedy represented by everything from 'South Park' to 'There's Something About Mary.' SpongeBob is counter-intuitive to that trend: He's innocent, naive and Chaplinesque."

He's also funneling money into Nickelodeon's coffers with the reliability of a South African diamond mine.

The merchandising of "SpongeBob" tchotchkes (cheese snacks, T-shirts, coloring books, etc.) will spawn $500 million in revenues this year, pouring at least $25 million in license fees into the pockets of Viacom, the parent of Nickelodeon.

Each of the 60 computer-generated half-hour episodes -- the last 20 of which are completing production and will hit the schedule late this year and into next year -- costs a strapping $500,000 apiece, the high end for an animated cable series.

But the steady stream of viewers to the show during the three times a day Nick runs it, including the jewel-in-the-crown time period of 8 p.m., makes "SpongeBob" a disproportionate contributor to the $573 million in ad revenues Kagan World Media predicts the network will harvest in 2002 despite the softest advertising marketplace in the history of cable.

Worldwide, "SpongeBob" has probably racked up $10 million more from its sale to TV outlets in more than 60 countries, including the 22 channels Nick owns a piece of.

And like all its shows, Nick will keep "SpongeBob" reruns for continual use on Nickelodeon and its spinoff channels.

"Nickelodeon will run the show in perpetuity," says Michael J. Wolf, head of the media and entertainment practice for McKinsey & Co. "SpongeBob," he adds, "will be an important ingredient in building the franchise value of the entire network."

Jim Strader, a partner in AniManagement, which represents cartoonists, says one of the reasons "SpongeBob" is finding a diverse audience is that "it's an auteur-driven show, the vision of one animator, not something dreamed up by a committee."

The "SpongeBob" creator and exec producer is Steve Hillenburg, a marine-biology teacher who switched careers midstream because he loved animation more than science.

But since SpongeBob is a sponge, not a human being, and the series takes place in Bikini Bottom, a thriving community that's completely under water, Hillenburg, 40, has successfully used his background to great advantage.

From the beginning, "SpongeBob" followed the usual pattern of Nick shows that slowly build an audience and then take off. Scannell commissioned 20 episodes in 1998 and the series premiered fairly quietly on Saturday morning, July 17, 1999.

It did well enough to generate a renewal, and when Nick slotted it Thursdays at 8 p.m. in summer 2000 teenagers and adults began discovering it.

"I knew we had something when Web sites devoted to the show started popping up on the Internet," Scannell says. "Colleges like the University of Michigan were throwing SpongeBob parties, and we were getting calls from celebrities like Tony Bennett and Rob Lowe for SpongeBob toys."

Nick commissioned 20 more half-hours and awarded "SpongeBob" the pride-of-place slot on the network for an animated series, Monday through Thursday at 8 p.m.

Before long, the show had eclipsed "Rugrats," the most popular series in Nick's history, as the network's highest-rated show.

Hillenburg has said that after he spends the next year or so putting together a theatrical movie of "SpongeBob," he plans to end his work on the show and go on to something else.

Since the series is such a cash pinata for the network, Scannell says if he can't talk Hillenburg out of voluntary retirement he may still go ahead and order more episodes beyond the current 60.

Scannell cites as one possible precedent the dossier of Larry David.

As co-creator and head writer of NBC's "Seinfeld," David quit the series when it was the No. 1-rated comedy on television. Without David, the show didn't miss a beat, continuing its must-see-TV dominance for the next three years.

In longevity and audience delivery, "Rugrats" is probably a better model for "Seinfeld."

"Rugrats" is still going strong after 145 episodes, live touring shows, two hit theatrical movies (with a third in production for release next summer), and countless billions in merchandising revenues.

If "SpongeBob" comes even close to the financial performance of "Rugrats," it will make Nickelodeon's cash flow the envy of the cable industry.  
Date in print: Mon., Jun. 3, 2002, Weekly

JOSH'S COMMENTS: I love Spongebob. I love other Nick cartoons a lot more, but I do love Spongebob. Now all we need is the As Told By Ginger movie! Maybe the Rocket Power movie!

Posted: Sun., Jul. 14, 2002, 6:00am PT
 
Primetime crime rate rises
But too many police dramas could cause casualties in fall
 
By JOSEF ADALIAN
Blame it on Dick Wolf.

The enduring success of the producer's "Law & Order" franchise, combined with the impact of more recent smash "CSI," has sparked a small- screen crime wave.

Almost half of the 15 new hourlong skeins the Big Four will roll out this fall are crime dramas, including entries from top-level feature talent like Jerry Bruckheimer ("Without a Trace"), Michael Mann ("Robbery Homicide Division") and McG ("Fastlane"). Plus CBS is putting a true-crime emphasis on the newly reformatted newsmag "48 Hours Investigates."

January will see the Wolf-led resurrection of one of the genre's landmarks, "Dragnet," as well as the sweeping drug-trade serial "Kingpin."

Add in the three existing editions of "Law & Order," the venerable "NYPD Blue," solid hit "The District" and sophomore success "Crossing Jordan," and primetime promises to be a gangsta's paradise next season, with some sort of criminal activity flourishing in almost every 9 and 10 p.m. timeslot.

"It's a staple of television," Wolf says, noting crimeshows -- like medical dramas -- have always been popular because of what's at stake in most episodes: "It's life and death."

Some industry wags are already concerned the crime rate may be getting too high. Just as the nets overdosed on reality shows and quizzers a few years ago, there's a chance auds may be overwhelmed by the increasingly long arm of the law.

"I do worry there could be a glut," says NBC Entertainment prexy Jeff Zucker. "They could all begin to look the same. But it's what always happens in television when someone succeeds: You end up with three streetside, glass-enclosed studios or (a slew) of quizshows."

Fact is, most of the new crime dramas will fail. But most first-year shows flunk out anyway -- and webheads believe there are plenty of reasons why crime pays:

• After Sept. 11, American audiences have a stronger-than-ever need to see criminals brought to justice.

  "There's so much inequity in the world, so much fear, so much unpunished crime -- it's frightening and it enrages us," says "NYPD Blue" creator Steven Bochco. "There's a certain visceral desire for order, for answers, for solutions and even for vengeance, within the confines of the criminal justice system."

• Most crime dramas tend to be procedural in nature, with the action driven by self-contained storylines rather than character-focused arcs. That makes them easier to repeat, and -- because there's no need for a long-term commitment -- attractive to a wider possible number of potential viewers.

  "The contemporary viewing audience isn't as available as they once were," says Fox Entertainment prexy Gail Berman. "These kinds of shows are easier for the audience to step in and step out of. They don't have to watch every week to be satisfied."

• The genre's pretty simple to understand and provides immediate gratification for auds.

  "You have clear heroes and villains, and a framework that's understandable and easily acceptable," says CBS drama development chief Nina Tassler.

• While crimeshows don't necessarily cost less to produce -- and in cases such as Fox's upcoming "Fastlane" can cost a bit more than standard fare -- they have the potential to be cost-effective. Wolf's "Law & Order" trilogy saves money by spreading the pricetag for sets and execs among three skeins; similar cost savings might be realized for the upcoming "CSI"/ "CSI: Miami" combo.
• Scribes don't have to look far to find inspiration for ideas.

  "Have you looked at a newspaper today? It's a never-ending source of material," Bochco says. "We can't make up the (stuff) we put on."

  The seemingly inexhaustible well of plot possibilities also allows shows like "NYPD Blue" and "Law & Order" to remain fresh even in their second decades on the air. And the vast creativity of the criminal mind may also allow more than one of this fall's new crop of crime dramas to succeed.

That's the hope at CBS, where four of the net's five new hours have a law-and-order bent. The Eye is betting heaviest on crime this fall, but net execs don't think viewers will be turned off by a blur of black-and-white hats.

"From where we sit (in the TV industry), we may see a proliferation of crime dramas, but for the audience at large, I don't think that's the case," Tassler says. "To the mass audience, I think it's broken up in a patchwork quilt."

For example, Tassler views the Eye's missing-persons drama "Without a Trace" as a psychological thriller, while the ex-cop-turned-taxi-driver at the heart of "Hack" is more of a "Lone Ranger" type who helps the helpless.

Berman says Fox's mandate requires it to "turn the crime drama genre on its ear," resulting in "Fastlane" -- an undercover cop drama that she says "is unlike anything else on the air."

Similarly, Zucker says NBC's "Boomtown" will benefit from its unique storytelling style, where a plot unfolds "Rashomon"-like through the eyes of several main characters.

Even "CSI: Miami," while no doubt sharing much in common with the original "CSI," will have its own distinct identity, producers say.

"The character of the city of Miami is going to dictate a lot of stories," says exec producer Ann Donahue. "And David Caruso's character is going to be 180 degrees from Billy Petersen. He won't spend a lot of time studying bugs."

"CSI" creator Anthony Zuiker compares the primetime proliferation of crime dramas to the recent building boom that has spurred the creation of more than a dozen new megaresorts in his hometown of Las Vegas.

"They keep building the casinos, and the people keep filling them," Zuicker says. "As long as the shows are good, it's great for television."
 
Date in print: Sun., Jul. 14, 2002

JOSH'S COMMENTS: I love crime shows for the most part. Law and Order is one of the best shows on tv...and has been for over ten years. Robbery Homicide is a new show that I have been watching, and it's really good. CSI used to be good...don't care much for it anymore. Then, you have Without A Trace which I planned on watching, but I missed it and never watched it yet. I saw bits and pieces of it the other night, and it looked pretty good. Boomtown on NBC looks good too. I have 4 episodes on tape that I need to watch...still haven't done so yet, but I will...I will probably write a review and post it on the site here.