The Blue Site

Hilarious!

This was brought to my attention by someone who visits my site...

Father, I lift up to You my kids. I don't know where their hearts lie, but You do. Please help them to do the right thing and follow You. God, I ask that You open the eyes of Bozeman. Bless him and keep him and help him to serve You first. Please bless Lisa who has endured so much. Touch her, Lord and guide her life. posted on churchgirl.net

I love it! I love so many things about it. I love how this person is mentioning me on her site...I'm glad to see I have an effect in people's lives. I'm just touched.

Secondly, I love how she lumps me in a blessing with Lisa...I suppose it's the same Lisa. And, I really love how she says that Lisa has "endured" so much...not sure if she's trying to say she endured so much with me or not, but I wouldn't doubt it.

If that's the case- just for everyones' reference...I dated Lisa from Sept 2001- March 2003. You know what? Since this was posted and someone is trying to paint me in a negative light, I'll tell the story.

Lisa lives in California...I live in Indiana. I first met her thru match.com years and years ago...she put down that she was 18, she was really 16. We talked on AOL, we talked on the phone...we got close, we said I love you. We lost contact, but then we got back in touch with each other. We lost contact again, we talked again on the phone (a number of times) and lost contact again. I emailed her in 2001...we started talking a lot in September 2001, she started calling me from college, we started "dating." We became really close really fast, and she got a cell phone so she could call me everynight. We talked for hours a day, talked online during the day, I got up and talked to her before she went to class, I talked to her on the phone after 9PM when it was free, etc etc. We started saying I love you, we both meant it (so I thought!), She was dealing with an anxiety issue, and she dropped out of school after christmas break 2001. She had mentioned her issue several times, and I had tried to talk to her about it, and give her advice, help her however I could. She was scared to death to tell her parents about it, and that she was scared to go back to school...I talked her into telling them about it and she didn't go back. So, we talked ALL the time. I got a job in 2002, started working 3rd shift...when I wasn't at work, we talked online or on the phone. We talked about everything, we became best friends, we talked about marriage, talked about me coming out there to see her or her coming here to see me, we talked about making plans and getting a place together- all of that stuff. We were in love.

So, I was going to get another, better job, but it fell thru, and I had quit my job I had to go to the training for the new job, so I was out of a job...so we had even more time than ever to talk. Her problem started to get worse...and she wouldn't talk to her parents about it. I have my own issue with social anxiety, which wasn't great itself. So, we started talking about me getting a place and her coming to live with me or me going there, or whatever...but, she kept telling me- my dad says you have to save this much money from each paycheck, and I tried to explain to her, we could barely live in a place of our own on ONE INCOME, let alone have money to put back every single month! She kept going on and on about her parents always save and they buy all their new cars with cash (which is unheard of!!), and she thought I should be the same way. She couldn't work, she said, so I had to make at least X amount of dollars each month to take care of us. Even if she COULD work, she said she wouldn't...she would rather be the type of woman who stays at home and takes care of the house and that stuff. So, eventually, I said to myself- we're never gonna be together, because I have to save THIS much money every month, find an impossible job making $15 an hour, etc. So, I had started talking to an ex of mine, and I broke it off with Lisa and got back with her...planning on getting a place together. It's not something I wanted 100%, but I thought being with someone would help me get over my own anxiety issue, and the way things were going- no way in hell Lisa was coming here to be with me, and I'd be the only person ever making money ever in our relationship. So, in the summer of 2002 we broke up for a bit, but we got back together. Things weren't perfect- when is anything ever perfect? But, we loved each other, we looked out for each, we shared the same basic personalities, we complimented each other perfectly. We rarely fought, we got along pretty well, and we were truly best friends AND lovers.

So, Lisa meets this Wes guy online...32 years old, has a son...he starts hitting on her. I had her passwords (she had mine too) and I noticed in her mailbox that Wes was saying "My Lisa," that he missed her and that he was falling for her, and all of this stuff. Then, I saw e mails she sent to him where she said she can't believe she feels this way about him and talking to him, and how she feels like a silly little girl, and all of this stuff that just totally broke my heart. I confronted her about it, and she said sorry, no big deal basically...I asked her not to talk to this guy on the phone anymore, please. She said okay...but, she kept talking to him. Church (who wrote the crap I posted above) comes to both of our sites, telling Lisa (on Lisa's site) that Wes is Lisa's man, and that I'm horrible, and this and that- both her and Ashley going on and on about how great Wes is, and how they should get together, even telling others who came to the site that Wes was a great catch and that he was WITH Lisa...

So, she kept talking to this guy, he posts on his blurty.com journal that this special woman he met online talked him into starting this journal, referring to Lisa. All of this crap.

Anyhow, in March of 2003...near the time all of this was happening, Lisa says she needs a break from the relationship- that she feels the same way, she loves me, is IN love with me, nothing has changed, but she needs to deal with her anxiety issue. I didn't really take it too seriously, since we still talked like normal, we still said I love you's all the time, we were the same...Plus, I told her that no one takes a break, they only say that when they want to break up, but want to lessen the blow or whatever. She promised this wasn't the case.

In April sometime, she got all serious all of a sudden and said it was over. She said that she still loved me and was IN love with me, but it was over for now...she didn't know when she could be in a relationship again. This was very sudden and very shocking to me, of course. I was floored.

So, her story changed into us not being right for each other...and she refused to really answer any of my questions. Why do you suddenly feel this way after nearly 2 years? Why do you think we're not the ones for each other? All of that stuff...she just wouldn't answer...just said, this is how I feel, sorry, the end.

Eventually, she told me that she couldn't be with me because I have social anxiety and that since she had anxiety, it was like two drug addicts together...

She then changed her story to - I do LOVE you, but I'm not IN love with you. Then, that changed to- I love you as a friend only. Then, that changed to, I don't love you, but we're still best friends, and I just see you as a friend and nothing more...that changed to, fuck you Josh- you have no right to call me. Sorry, Josh- I'm not attracted to you, I don't have any feelings for you, etc.

This was a hellish few months...where she told me one story, then changed it to another, then changed that one to the first one, then changed that one to a brand new story...all of these lies and all this deceit- swearing it had nothing to do with Wes, and that it was all just odd timing...swearing she had loved me all this time, but she just changed..sorry, that's that.

Well, of course, I wasn't very nice to her. I would say I'm sorry and that I regret being rude to her, but I don't at all. When someone wastes two years of your life and totally fucks you over, I say you have every right to be rude to them. She totally threw me out like old gargabe, totally disregarding my feelings that she was supposed to have wanted to protect, since she supposedly loved me and all for years and years...I say, when someones treats you like shit- don't kiss their ass. She cried a few times? So what...I cried a few million times for days on end. Why? Not because of anything I did...but because of everything SHE did.

So, now...I don't even talk to Lisa at all. She talks to her little friend Brian and the bitch, Ashley- who can't be your friend if you're a christian, 'cause she's a nice ol' athe*st! I tried calling her and being nice, telling her that I heard she was back in school and working and all this stuff- I DID find it kind of odd that she claimed she was so full of anxiety, yet she gets rid of me like trash, then she's suddenly ALL better! You know what she told me? She told me I had no right to ever call her or talk to her. You know why? Because I emailed her and asked her if she would send me my CSI video tapes back, and she wouldn't answer. I sent another e mail, and a third- these are MY tapes I let her borrow...tapes I spent hours putting together, and I simply wanted them back. She refused to send them back or even simply reply to my request...so, I e mailed her parents and asked them nicely to ask Lisa to send my stuff back. THAT'S why she won't talk to me ever again...THAT'S why I have "no right to call her" or talk to her. Ballsy, right? I thought so too.

So...in the end, I say- screw you Lisa, you're a selfish bitch who cares ONLY about yourself- you proved that time and time again the final few months there...you refused to be honest with me in April, you kept changing your story, you promised we'd talk one night, then you'd totally ditch me...I'd call you to see why you weren't online and you were on the phone with Wes, and refused to get off...I asked you time and time again to tell Shannon and Ashley to shut up, because they wouldn't stop talking badly about me and going on and on about you and wes being together and in love and so on- you refused, you said that you couldn't confront people very well. What happened in the end? You told me (your supposed BEST FRIEND) to fuck off and you STILL talk to your FRIEND Ashley.

So, I guess in the end of it all- screw you Lisa, screw you Churchy and athe*st girl too. They caused a lot of the shit in March and April on the tagboards, and for that- they can go to hell...you, on the other hand, wasted two years of my life. Years I could have been with someone else and made a real relationship...years I could have done any number of things. But, no...you wasted my time, you lied to me, you treated me like garbage instead of your best friend, and now I don't have any right to talk to you?! Hilarious!...Hell yes, I have every right to say screw you to Lisa and I have every right to feel the way I do. I might not have been the nicest guy to her when she kicked me to the curb out of the blue, but I've never done anything that is half as bad as the stuff she's done to me. So, whatever the hell that selfish bitch has had to endure, I've no idea...she's not bothered by ANY of this, I, on the other hand, having a heart and soul, am bothered by the situation. It's hard as hell to deal with, and it still haunts my dreams every now and then. I'm the one who wakes up from a nightmare where my girlfriend is calling me up to tell me she doesn't love me...not her. So, screw that nonsense. Someone has something completely backwards here, kids!

Now, you all know the story, and you can make your own judgement as to what poor innocent little Lisa has had to endure and what utter misery she has gone through. Everyone say awww for poor little Lisa, now...

Okay, I'm done going off on my huge rant there...sorry it's so long and detailed, but it's nice for any new friends I make to know the story that has become such a big part of my life the past several months...and, I feel as tho I need to defend myself in a way, because I don't really want people blessing me with false kindness, and claiming that others have endured hardships due to me, when anyone sane person knows that that's complete bullshit. Shannon and Ashley both can KEEP talking to Lisa and be good friends with her, and they can pass along a big fuck you from me.

Oh, just a tad bit more info, which I think is quite humorous. THIS is an entry I posted on my own blurty months ago about the situation...I pasted Lisa's own blurty entry in the entry of mine (a note about that- she made her blurty friends only and added, guess who? Wes and Ashley! When I asked her if I (her best friend) could be added, guess what she said? Nope. It's private...which meant private to her, Ashley, Wes, and one other girl. And I'M the bad guy, right?
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Also- here is something Lisa posted in some community on Livejournal. You can imagine not talking to someone you spent years of your life with, then seeing that they feel this way about your relationship. It's great to see how people REALLY feel about ya!

Hello ladies. I'm Lisa. I'm 20, and live in southern California. I'm newly single after getting out of a horrible long distance relationship that lasted way too long. I moved away to college straight out of high school, but dropped out and came home for more reasons than I can list. That was a while ago, so I'm pretty far behind. That makes me feel like a huge failure in life. I'm going back this fall, so hopefully that will be cured.

I'm new to having a live journal, and I just found this while browsing around. Looking forward to reading more.

Both of the above just further show you her true colors...her true character. You really get to see how people can suddenly turn on you without any notice. It's scary, and that's a chance we all have to take, I guess, but it sucks, and it's not right. I don't flip flip on people, so I don't think it's unfair to expect the same from them.

Posted by Josh at October 29, 2003 05:11 AM | TrackBack