I so know people. I tell ya...I'm the snap judgement king. More than that, I know people for a long time, and I can tell what they're going to do.
I could tell Lisa was a bit nutso, tho I ignored that fact way too long. (inside joke alert) In the end, she took a 2 year relationship and said she changed her mind and just wanted to be my friend and nothing more. This is the same girl that wanted to get married a few months before this big change. :)
I also knew when I started talking to JoRae again that nothing would come of it. This is the girl that changes more than anyone on earth. I know her very well, and I know she's going to get mad at this entry and stop talking to me. I also knew a week ago, when she talked to her ex, and then started crying about it (when she was on cam with me on yahoo!), she would soon tell me that she didn't know what she wanted. That night, she told me just that. She had to think about what she wanted in life in general...
I knew when I first started talking to her again that this would happen. It's happened at least 6 times before (mainly because she spent 4 years obsessed with winterguard, and would allow nothing to get in the way of that), so that's why I didn't take it THAT seriously. I mean, I put my heart in it, I was always honest, but I never let it get too deep for me, because I knew what the eventual (and soon) outcome would be. She said she needed a week to figure things out. I knew what her reply would be- I can't be with you...I wanna be alone.
Now, a week later, she says she has indeed decided that she wants to be alone and that she needs to figure her life out (doesn't she always.) So, once again, I was right. I must say, folks, I am right most of the time...it's hard being so right, but it's a job I'll gladly take.
This is why I didn't stop myself from kissing someone the other night. This girl is about as confusing as the other two I mentioned, and she confused me even more after we talked on Yahoo the other morning...but, I'm going to see her Friday evening, and we're going to talk- maybe I'll get some answers and clarify some things then.
I won't lie...I like this girl...she's got me all excited, and as I told her, I do have feelings for her, and I do care about her. Despite the fact that I haven't known her that long, that's all 100% true.
We kissed and all of that, and I thought we had this huge connection, but then we didn't talk for two days (I tried calling her, but she acted like she didn't wanna talk either time)...I finally talked to her online when she IMed me and I sent her a letter (short as it was) about my feelings that I was going to have her roommate print out and give to her. I told her I liked her and wanted to see if this was going somewhere or if we should just call it a memory and move on...
She said what we did was meaningful and she wouldn't have even kissed me if she didn't like me. So, she likes me, I thought...last night I was at her apartment with my friend (her roommate) and I was going to talk to her then, but she didn't even really say anything to me...came in, and walked right out the door. So, now, I'm even more confused than after our talk online.
Soooo....I guess I can tell all of you more Friday night sometime. I don't have high hopes for the meeting, but who knows. I do like her tho, and my feelings will be a bit hurt if nothing comes of all of this, because I never give a girl a kiss without attaching a little piece of my heart to it...
We'll see...
Posted by Josh at September 25, 2003 02:57 PM | TrackBack